Towards The End

Mood: Neutral

So yeah I know it's been days since I blogged. Been very busy!
Hmm so the important stuffs was I got a callback for drama and I got into it, he looks gay without his moustache, emoness is still in love with me. (:

Ok.


Kuga found out bout me being jelly belly of hers and Soon Jian's relationship. It slipped off my tongue. I swear I didn't do it on purpose. The best part ... she unfriended him and then blocked him! All cause of ME!
Seriously, she is so freaking immature. Almost used bad words on her yesterday but managed to control cause she is my good friend and I don't wanna I don't know, be very much harsh on her although she deserved it. Just continuously called her dumb and stupid and the only big word I used was the F word. That one also not big enough! =='''''

This is why I don't tell her stuffs. Usually she wouldn't bother so no point telling her but certain times, she makes a big issue although it isn't and ruins everything. I told her it was no biggie and doesn't matter but NO, she wanted to know what I meant and all, ergh! =='

The heartbreaking moment when you have a really long eye contact with your good friend but all of a sudden he just looks away, mumbles something that you wish you could hear and just walks away. 

It is almost the end of February and everyone's drowning in problems, even I am ... screw my emotions! 
But I don't worry much cause I believe God is there with me, helping me get through this hell and make me a stronger person and I don't doubt that God's plan for me is always better than my plan for myself.

God bless us all! (: 

Ring Ding Dong

Mood: Cheerful

Ola! Tiring day at school again. Haiz!
Exam is starting on the 6th. Oh no! D:
All the subjects ok except Maths, Science & Geography.
Why can't only Indices come out for Maths?! Wheee! That would be awesome. But too bad only 3 chapters and my problem is remembering the formulas especially on Circles. ><
Science? THAT SUBJECT IS MEGA HARD! Pulmonary artery, pulmonary vein, vena cava etc! D:
Geo? Bearing sudutan, blah blah that one all easy. I don't know what I don't understand! The calculation part probably.
Sejarah?! Hah I love that subject now! We are finally winning after being stupid for I dont know how long. :D
BM and BI, paper 1 ony mah and yayyy tatabahasa my favourite!

I have an idiot for a cousin. Yes. Yogan.T is his name! =='
Dear God, please put some sense into that kid.

Teacher asked the difference between semen and sperm at tuition today and it seemed like I was the ONLY one who knew. Kuga was like how I know all that, Justin gave me the look and teacher said smart! XD
No I am not corrupted, I am just full of information! :)

Comeback!

Mood: Blur

Just got up from my nappy! :D
And yes I am still alive!

Forgot what happened few days back! Ok maybe I remember, I don't know, blur much so leave it.
Got a callback for drama! Awwww yeahhhhh! :D But sadly Kuga didn't get it! Not fair! She was way better than Shailendra and that other fella! ><

One day I would run out of patience, and I will punch you. In the face. Very hard. 

Found out a truth about HIM yesterday. I can't believe he actually lied about it. Pathetic much. You know being embarrassed of who you and your family are that you gotta create a lie. I knew his stupid stories weren't real but the main fact that he stated that was followed by the not so convincing lies were you know trustable. I mean why would he lie about?! Jerk! Freak! Bloody basket!! Thanks Roshen, for letting me know what a scumbag he is! Owe ya one! :)

Told Arvind about it and the next minute itself he called me and he was real pissed! At me. I guess. So yeah he was telling me LOTS of stuffs on it and my replies were just uhh, umm, hmm etc. Woops!

School is freaky. Like Jiayi said "Isn't it creepy to know that everyone is keeping up with you, knowing what you do everyday?" Well smth like that, can't remember the exact words. Yes it is! And commenting on what you do is also in the list! Example: My classmates notices everything I do! LIKE EVERYTHING! Makes me feel like they spend a whole lot more time paying attention to me than to lesson being taught or whatever. Ergh! Yesterday, they commented on my "new" hairstyle, good comments of course, and one fella even debated with me whether I did cut my hair or not. Like seriously?! =='
Same thing happened today but with no debate. Phew!

I have been really busy these days. Too much of paper works to be done. *faints*
Oh and Max died! =(
I am gonna miss kutuk-ing that scary fella! Haiz! Cycle of life ...
R.I.P. Max! :)

Rough Week

Mood: Not that good!

HE IS AN ASSHOLE! >:(

Whee, he called me and just finished talking! Nono, this guys ain't the asshole, this guy is sweet!

It has been a really tiring week! D:
Got my Tetanus injection on Thursday and gah it hurts like mad now!
Before the injection, I was so calm and pretty much excited but after the injection, oh man I was suffering!
Had my drama audition. Kuga was my partner. Made our own script. Kuga was the wife who cheated on her husband and of course the husband was me. We still had to read out from the script they prepared for us and we chose Quasimodo from the Hunchback of Notre Dame. I could have played that role better, with more emotion! Damn! Disappointed much with my performance. The part when it was Kuga's and my turn, it was so embarrassing to hear "Look, it's Ashini's turn! Let's see! Ashini's turn la wei!" And I was like Oh God! D:

Yesterday was a moody day. Cried in class. Thanks Layknaath! =='
Got 17 hours of sleep! Wootz! :D

Today?! Ok lo!
Hmm feeling a little bit jealous, a little bit sad, a little bit angry and a little bit confused.
Why?!

Well, who wouldn't if you see your best friend understands your other friend better than she understand you and when he goes in emo mood, it's fine but when I do, it's totally wrong. It's right for him to be sad but it's wrong for me to be, she bothers to care bout his sadness more than mine. Oh ya, I forgot, he tells her everything unlike me. Another interesting thing, she didn't mention a word to me that she had hurtful stuffs. It's ok! No biggie! It's just like before, I was never there for her. She tells me everyday how much fun she had with everyone, blah blah, blah but never once she bothered to ask how my day was. Never once she thought how it is like to be me listening to her stories. But nonono I wouldn't complain on that, as long as she's having fun, I'm good with it! Should I talk to her about it or should I not?! Guess not! Just keep it all somewhere deep inside me or just write it over here since no one bothers. Awwww yeahhhh! :)

What happened to us?

There Is Sunshine After The Rain

Mood: Neutral

What a day!
Haven't been able to sleep all night long, so was so sleepy at school. *yawns*
Haahhh!

Got flying kiss from the saw I was using while doing my kerja kayu. Awesome!
Hurts a lot! Its really red. My finger got slight cut but peh small thing but the cut in between my thumb and the index finger hurts like hell. I am not the type who could handle pain. My skin is damn sensitive. :/

We lost in the debate competition. Oh well, we did our best. :)
Teacher's comment:
Soon Jian, your starting was really good. Your presentation was good.
You, Ashini, had a very good presentation. You did well but you were not supposed to add in your own points. That is not the work of the 3rd speaker.
Alyssa, your problem was you didn't make your points clear.
And you both accepted so many POI's! Shouldn't have done that.
Ah Ashini, when the opponent POI-ed you, she was wasting your time. It was very long. You should have cut her short saying "You're wasting my time, POI- denied, I would like to move on to my next point."
But you were good, you were all good. All three of you join debate k! We need more talented students like you all.
We: Yesss teacher!!

And awesomeness, he ain't angry with me for that stupid valentine thing! He had some other probs. Today we talked and went shopping for necklaces together!! XD
Oh and he asked me out in a friendly way, I think! Yeshh I did say yes!

Oh and did I mention that the guy I USED to have a crush on works at Tesco and I sight addikiran him almost every time?! Woops! He is shoooo cuteeee!!! He looks weird in his work uniform but oh well still hot as ever!!

14th Of February

Happy Valentines Day for the those in a relationship! Happy Single Awareness Day for those who are single! Happy Forever Alone Day to ME! :D

Mood: Heartbroken

Facebook Status: Relationship ruins friendship

True enough?! Heck yeah!
Yesh, Arvind asked me to be his valentine but he wasn't the only one.
He knew I would say no yet he still asked, well that's cause I was super curious why he didn't ask yet. Oh well.
He still surprised me with a valentine gift. He came here with his parents when I was at that stupid 1M1S! He had to go for some kind of function at PD so my house is on the way ma so he came by!

School was OK. I was late and my hair was wet cause I washed it. So I just tied the top part and let down the rest for a while. Walked to my class while chanting "I am ugly!", and aiyoo ramaa, the first person who saw me was Siva. He kept looking, ergh and then Ben and Shen were like "Fuyohh Ashini! Pretty la! New hairstyle ah?!" and BAM! all eyes on me! Damn! Should have gotten a bigger book to cover my face. There was this guy when I was outside my class, hiding, covering my face and begging my hair to dry faster, an unknown guy looked and continuously smiled and I was like errr whhaaaattt?! Damn malufying and Kavi was so not helpful!
 Didn't wish Laayknath for his birthday. Made him think I was still angry with him although he apologized so many times. He was like "Now also you won't wish me ah?" in Tamil. He repeated that like 30 times lar. I didn't wish him cause I got something from the ELS sale for him but damn UP memang UP!! They didn't come and give also. Haiz!

The other guy who asked me, got a no from me too. It was so unexpected. I mean all these while I have been hanging out with him as FRIENDS nothing more and all of a sudden he likes me. Wow?!
He ignored me today. I was expecting to crap with him but he stayed away from me. His friend kept staring at me with that one kind of look. He saw me standing there, about to wave and he just....WALKED OFF! Didn't greet me with that cute smile he usually gives. Nice. Wonderful. Then we sorta almost came across each other, he saw and he turned the other direction. How I felt?! Don't know but tears were almost running down my cheeks, oh they are now! Whee! I don't think so he's angry with that not accepting thingy, he is way to mature for that, gotta be something else! Definitely! Guess so. Hope so.

Tired!

Mood: Neutral

Din't get to blog yesterday although I said I would, well I was just too tired. Cycled all the way to Kuga's house with my annoying bag. It was so painful! Legs were red thanks to the "slapping" from the bag! Was wearing shorts some more! :(
Then from Kuga's house walked to Family Store while dragging my bicycle. Haiz!
Hah! The girl with shorts whom got constant slapping from her annoying bag survived!
Basically, the workers at FS thought we were mad. Why?! I kept insulting Kuga in an odd way and was just being nice. Kuga called it being over-friendly! So me! :D
Then, went to back to her house, changed into my jeans and walked to tuition! Walao eh!!

Would definitely blog bout my other days soon! No time now!

Mood: Guilty D:

Well yeah haven't been blogging lately! Oops! Been busy! Definitely would blog but later!
Just came by to say I haven't forgot bout my blogger! :D

Wasted!

Mood: In tears

Tears are prayers too. They make their way to heaven when you can't speak

Why hello! Yes I am crying. I am blogging as well. I'm just an expert in multitasking! :)
Why am I crying?! No biggie! Just me and the feeling of Forever Alone! Nono nothing to do with relationship, more to friendship! Oh well! If you have God, you have everything you need! :)

So lets see. How was school today?
Quite okay!
Had to limp for a while! Ouch! Swollen feet is just so not my thing.
That spot outside my class is the only place I get to be alone and away from my classmates but unlucky me, they just keep following me everywhere. All that I ever hear is "Ashini!!" ALL THE TIME!! How can I explain to them, I need some time of my own?!

Laayknath and Yogan make me laugh but sometimes they are just annoying.
Went crazy during KH with Roselyn and Lyyana! Wohoo! :P

Stayed back for the debate briefing. So sweet of Soon Jian to walk me down to the guard house! :)
Did homework and was bored as usual.

And tadaaaa now I am crying! Ain't this awesome or what?! :D

Breeze With Love

Mood: Cheerful

Wondering why my mood is always cheerful when all this time I was too busy emo-ing?
Well, life's good! As I said, I found out stuffs! Whee! I had a smile on,whole day long! :)

So how I celebrated my 6th of February?
Decorated my room with daddy! Wheee!
Helped at aunt's shop.
Flirty texting moments with Arvind. Don't question that!
People came talking to me bout my exes. =='
Facebook was really interesting yesterday. Lalala!
I swear I laughed like mad when he asked how I know that Kamz has a thing for him! How can he even think that?! Like seriously?! LMAO!!! That was just shooo funny! XD
Oh and he said he's gonna die in 10 years time because of .......! And he concluded that is the happiest news for me because I hate him. Whaddafuq?! =='
And when he said "I'm forever alone", it reminded of Kamz and me, how we always say forever alone! Lalala!

This time, last year, everything was different. Sparks everywhere.
Things changed, feelings changed and so did I!
I definitely owe him a thank you for bringing the change in me although I swear I feel like killing him at times. He has made me a stronger person. I remember writing this on one of my posts. You know when I read back all those posts, I actually wonder was I that emotional? Was I that hurt? Was I that commited? Cause I am very sure I was numb when I read those. No feelings at all. More to like "Errrr whaattt?!" Wow!

And Oh Lord, that One Guy is back! 18th of February would be the day. I don't know what I am doing. Damn! How can I say YES to him?! Like seriously?! It keeps reminding me of Arvind. How I'm doing him wrong. There was this post on Twitter that he read to me "Girls often go through heartbreak cause they always go for the jerks while the nice guys who are willing to love them right are friend zoned!" Oh well! This One Guy is a definite jerk but he's so niceeeee! Nono I am not crushing on him! But...! Nvm!

Valentine's coming soon and I am hoping real hard Arvind doesn't ask. He haven't spoke about it YET and if he does, I have no idea what to tell him. I have hurt him a lot, still am and still would. I feel really guilty you know but I can't do anything. I am not up to this stuff anymore. He's perfect but I am not. I have fears but it's not that I don't trust him. It's just that I don't know.

Oh well, guess gotta ask my retard brother for help. He would know how to deal with it unless he is gonna support his bestie as usual! -.-

6th February!

Mood: Cheerful

6th February! :)
It's a new day, a new year!
Morning!
My day started of great, all thanks to my sweetest guy friend who has always been there for me.
God bless and have a wonderful day y'all!

A Short Say!

Mood: -yawns-

Okie lets see. I havent blogged for days! Woops! Been real busy!
Would take about it some other time. Really tired today!

Time passes really fast! It's the 6th of February tomorrow. Am I supposed to be happy for the memories or cry about how it would have been if nothing changed?! Guess, it's none!! Not that I'll be moodless or anything! I would be........HAPPY because I have finally found out why I have been sad. Why I have been still "liking" him! The reason just made me feel good and so not pathetic! It's the true fact! Awwwwww yeahhhhhh! Would talk about it on one of my posts soon! :)

Believe!

Bad day? Dont think so.

Me (in a tizzy) : God, can I ask you something?
GOD: Sure
Me: Promise you won't get mad?
GOD: I promise
Me (frustrated) : Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today?
GOD: What do you mean?
Me: Well I woke up late
GOD: Yes
Me: My car took forever to start
GOD: Okay
Me (growling) : At lunch, they made my sandwich wrong and I had to wait
GOD: Hmmmmm...
Me: On the way home, my phone went dead, just as I picked up a call
GOD: All right
Me (loudly) : And to top it all off, when I got home, I just wanted to soak my feet in my foot massage and relax, but it wouldn't work. Nothing went right today! Why did you do that?
GOD: Well let me see...the death angel was at your bed this morning and I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that.
Me (humbled) : Oh..
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that might have hit you if you were on the road.
Me (ashamed) : .............
GOD: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick and I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Me (embarrassed) : Oh....
GOD: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give a false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Me (softly) : I see God..
GOD: Oh and that foot massager, it had a short that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I am sorry God.
GOD: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me.....in all things, the good and the bad.
Me: I will trust you God.
GOD: And don't doubt that my plan for your day is always better than your plan.
Me: I won't God, and let me just tell you God, thank you for everything today.
GOD: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I love looking after my children.

So what did we learn from the story above?!
Learn to trust God at all time! Never complain on any of God's decisions cause God makes no mistakes! Just say thank you and be grateful for all that you have been through. As they say everything happens for a reason and our reason is trust in God!

First Day Of February!

Mood: Calm so dont worry, I wont bite! :)

February, please be good to me!

Couldn't blog yesterday cause was damn pissed and the worst part, I cried for no reason at all. NO REASON!! From 10:25 pm till 11:05 I guess! Only 45 minutes of non-stop crying but the result this morning was horrible. Got up and looked in the mirror as usual, daily routine, my day should always start with ME and boom I got terrified looking in the mirror I swear! I looked damn horrible. Ugly! Ergh! I have double eyelid and it was so scary to see it was I dont know how to explain it was. Erm, had an extra ugly line on it?! Swollen like mad! I could barely open my eyes. So painful! :(

One bad thing of always having a smiling face and being cheerful is that when you're sad, it'll be very obvious.
Not all smiling people are happy and not all quiet ones are sad!
But when I am quiet, its definitely of a negative reason. The only thing I wear to make myself attractive is my smile, not make up or any other crap and actually I dont smile to be attractive, I smile cause I am grateful, I smile cause I like to, I smile cause I am happy but it doesnt mean I dont feel pain. :)

10 Reasons To Smile:

01. It makes you attractive

02. It changes your mood

03. It is contagious

04. It relieves stress

05. It boosts immune system

06. It lowrs your blood pressure

07. It releases endorphins

08. It lifts the face and makes you looks younger

09. It makes you seem successful and....

10. It helps you stay positive. 

-Tumblr

So at school, they were like "OhmyGod, why is your eyes swollen?!" , "You cried ah?" "Why you look sad? Smile lar! You always smile what!", "Ya?! Enna achi?!" and the best one from Keyan "Why ah your WHOLE face looks swollen?"

My only reply: Didnt get enough sleep! :)
Yeah yeah I lied! Sorry! But I had to! I rather lie than tell people my feelings and all. I am not sure whether my lie was that convincing or people are just that dumb?! ._. Well glad they're dumb and guess my acting worked also. Hm pro ah me! I deserve a pat! Lalalala!

Spent almost the whole school hours at the Communication Skills Seminar! It was so fun and gosh Glenn is shooooooooo cuteeeeee! Cant believe I am actually saying that! He's annoying but fun! Cute! Why!? We were divided into groups and I was in Group 1 with Aly, Komathy, Indhu, Azim, Glenn, Heeran, Tasha and the others I forgot. And the word given was WATER so we had to talk about it and we asked Glenn to speak on behalf of our group. Oh My God, that boy is hilarious! Made everyone laugh like mad. He was shooooo cuteeeee! Grrrrrr! I and Komathy was like "So cute la he! Damn cute! Eeeeee!" Really lar! Mega joker! And ergh btw just cause I am saying that he is cute doesnt mean I have crush on him or anything k! -.-

The drama part was the best! Dhayalan had to go out and talk about Mark Anthony Ori something on Caesar's funeral. So the gang asked Sotish to be Caesar. Dhayalan carried him and said his lines. And then he dropped Sotish on the floor and whacked him! Damn funny! XD

There's something bugging my mind. Sorta fear like?! I know I am not supposed to think of it in the wrong way but still what if, maybe just maybe, my fear comes real?! What would I do?! What WOULD I feel?! What SHOULD I feel?! I know there's no point suspecting without any proves but still I dont feel right. Jealousy is such a bitch and so is the feeling of being insecure.

The CD thingy sold by the AMCHAM group are pretty nice. Creative people! Hmm! Me and Kamalini sending to ourselves to be that rage comic guy! #Forever Alone# Kyahahahah! We mad ady! XD
Gotta order tomorrow! Lalala!
And ishhhh Keyan ah!! So eeeee ergh! He asked me to buy so I asked him why do I have to buy then Mathana said no need means dont buy then that mangkuk Keyan said buy for him! Whaddafaq?! ==' But luckily then he went off to him and I had the chance to escapeeeee!

Got a short nap after I was back from school. Had to give my eyes some rest so that they're back to normal. It hurts a lot. Ouchie! I looked sick so mommy thought I was having fever! How I wish! :(
I damn weird rite?! Others dont want to have fever while I wish for it!

Oh and today I escaped from getting caught for not having a woggle for my scarf. I left it on my table at home! I was late, what to do! How I escaped?! Wear the scarf, the cover the part where the woggle is supposed to be by hugging my storybook and act innocent. No one noticed except for Roselyn and Lyyana. Good thing they shush-ed! I have such good friends. I deserve a pat again for choosing the right friends and for being lucky enough to have them. Yay! I loveeeee my friends! Then I gave my scarf to Kirro since she didnt bring. I cant believe KIRRO didnt bring! Walao!!

Btw school was OK yesterday! The memory of Monday is still burning at the back of my mind. Damn! Whyyyyyyyy?! Dear fate, stop playing tricks with me. Sincerely, Tired of getting hurt!

And ohmigod I just remembered its FEBRUARY!!
OMG! OMG! OMG!
Noooo, I'm not freaking out cause Valentine's Day is around the corner!
This is the month where it all began! More to like 4 more days to go! ._.

Currently tumblin' ! I'm addicted to it! Lalala! :D
Supposed to be on bed! Shhhh! Dont complain to my mommy ah! :P