And I Go Blah Blah Blah! :P

Mood: :/

1st day of school after one week holidays: Interesting! :D
And woalah 1M1S till 3 pm tomorrow! Bluekkk! Hope it's fun, oh wait it definitely would be, all my friend would be there and no lame classmates! Awwwwww yeahhhhhhh! :D
Pst, my classmates suck! Lame asses! Barely surviving there! Those who know me well, definitely knows how hyper and crazy I am and boredom is something I cant tolerate! Usually wherever I go, I make people active and lively but my dumbass classmates doesnt understand what does classy fun means! They're friggin typical and I say they should hang themselves! Yup that's how much I hate them! God bless me! :)
P.s, I'm not praying for them to die or anything but seriously, it's hard to adjust with them. My personality and attitude VS their goddamn typical mentality! Looks like they're winning! Ergh No worries, I am unique and out stand all of them. Hah, bow down to me you freaks! Chehh perasan! Just kidding! I am the sweet innocent kiddo in class, heheh, I didnt say that k, my classmates did! What to do, I'm just that niceeee! Falalala! You jelly?! XD

Planned to write a lot but guess I'll save it for tomorrow, gotta chiao now!
Just came to say that I'm not lost and gone yet!

So off I go now with that one friggin memory of that very weird moment today! It just doesn't wanna leave my thoughts! Damn! =3

Byeee Holidays! =(

Mood: :D

So there goes my one week of holidays!
Goodbye Rest and Fun, it was great being with you guys, see ya next weekend.
Hello Stress and Homework, missed me much didn't you guys?!

Nothing much to blog about! Maybe tomorrow!
All the best for school y'all! :D

Sleepover At Bestie's!

Mood: Cheerful

Woootz! Sleepover at Kuga's house! Having tons of fun here!
About to go back home in an hours time! Sad! :(

Yesterday, we watched Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 1 at 1 pm! Went to bed at 3:30 pm but didn't sleep. We were crapping about PIGS and laughed like mad non-stop for 2 1/2 hours! Continuous laughing you know! Imagine that! And Kuga kept scaring me with the hand gesture thingy! We even made a ghost story and epic failure!!

We slept around 5:30 ny and I got up at 11:13! Hah! :P

And earlier just now we were sweeping the house, well Kuga was, I was dancing with the broom! Falalala!
I suck at sweeping! I only know how to mop! Heeeeeee! :P
I disturbed her like mad while she was sweeping! Muahahaha!
And currently I am sitting on Ragu's bed and onlining while she's on the computer onlining also!!

Once a liar, forever a liar!

She showed me the messages she had with him. Gosh, it was so funny!
How stupid does he think Kuga is?! -.-

And she read mine. ONLY A PART OF IT! Phew! And yesterday only I noticed that he said "btw nice tumblr" I wonder how can I did not notice it the other day?! Hmm! But how he saw it ah?! How he found it?! :o Should ask him! Hmm! Weird!

Kuga was comparing Arvind with him oh ya and then insult time! Bwuahahaha! XD

Rage!

Mood: Whaddafuck?! 

He shall die! Die! Die!
So gonna imagine his death! I'm gonna kill him brutally! He shall suffer tonight in my imaginations! I swear!
So wish I had a voodoo doll of him! Torture him like mad! Make him suffer!
Nevermind, in my imagination tonight, I'm gonna make him fall on his knees and beg for apology! Beg me to spare his life. Hah!

Why this sudden rage?!
He said something so nerve-wrecking that's why! Pig le he! Die! Die! Die!
Oh great! Now he should be mega killed!
Thanks for interfering and uh fake smileys are so not welcomed! >:(

Lets see! Should I just lie and say it's not him?! Oh wait! They all know I suck at lying! Damn!
Wait! How do I reply to "really wanna kill me?" and "iknow u do so pls do so" with a smiley sumore! -.-

I didn't comment what I really wanted to comment! Great! Thanks Kuga!
She said I'm not supposed to make him feel angry or sad.
Bet he didn't feel a thing and why should he?!
Emotionless freak!

Oh so we chatted four days ago and after that I somehow died and became non-existent and then all of a sudden I came back alive today?! Wow?!
Maybe he has been busy?! Well he had time to chat with others. And he remembers it was 4 days back?! So he knew I was gonna say that is it till he had it all nicely planned?!
Four days?! Seriously?! It felt like ages, seriously!

Not my fault he gets on my nerves! And oh well now I ruined the chances of him talking to me anymore. Haiz! This sucks! Hah never mind. It would be the same old shit! We dont talk, I silently wish we did and then cry about it to Kamz! That's the pathetic part of my life.

Tell me who wouldn't want to kill the person who hurts you so much and act like they are doing it for your own good sake?!
There is no sense of guilt at all?! Oh ya heartless people dont know what guilt means oh and pain too.
All they know is hurt people and dont give a damn! Yup!
One day, karma would surely fuck them over!

Faith in God is still the best armor! 

"For all the tears you've made me shed, all the painful act of yours, I believe someday God would make you pay for em all. Dont worry, I would never pray for any harm to befall on you, I am not that cruel! I would just pray and keep asking one thing from God, to give you emotions so that you would be able to feel other people's pain and at one point you would be grateful to God for not being treated the way you treat me."

Tumblr!

Mood: Neutral

Gah, I am so addicted to tumblr! Reblog! Reblog! Reblog!
Tumblr is where you can express your feelings without having to say a word!
You scroll, scroll and scroll and hah all of a sudden you find a picture that describes exactly how you feel. It's like it is specially made just for you when you really need it.
A good ninety nine percent of my tumblr is about him! XD

Dream Big!

Mood: Exhausted

Way too much of shopping! D:

Have I told how bizarre my dreams have been getting lately?
He is in every dream and in all of it, he has such a pathetic life! I imagine him in all sorts of horrible condition and his reactions when I torture him.....priceless! The best part is that it's actually fun! I really love my dreams! At least there I can hurt him!
It's like the opposite of the real life.

I'm tired of being treated the way I'm being treated now so my dreams are letting me live a better life somewhere far far away from all this pain and misery in a kingdom of my own where happiness is the only emotion that exists. 

Sounds mean?! Neah, this is just a tiny part. Should have seen the tortures. Epic! Damn! If only we could capture our dreams and replay them. Ask my friends, they would know how evil I am when the topic is about him. But I do act innocent in front him, pst I'm afraid of him ma!

Back In Action!

Mood: Cheerful

Why hello there! It's been a while since I blogged! No, I haven't died, just been really tired.
So hmm one week of updates not here eh?!  Nah, here it is:
Monday: Sucked!
Tuesday: Sucked a lil but had fun with friends after a long time!
Wednesday: Mega sucked but still had fun!
Thursday: Sucked!
Friday: Sucked
Saturday: Sucked!
Today: EPIC!!

Why it sucked?! My classmates are stupid and lame and terrible headaches. I have tons of medicines to consume to cure my headache problem. Doctor said, I might be overthinking stuffs and stressing myself out. What does he know bout the sadness and pain I'm feeling deep inside that makes me cry everyday.

I was fine all this while until Kuga brought up the topic. Now everythin's messed up again! Haiz!
The thoughts bring too much of pain and tears that I had to swear to myself to not feel em or waste my tears for that idiot! It actually works you know! The very moment I'm about to shed a tear thinking about anything that has to with him, I immediately think of that swear and anger takes over. Awwwwwww yeahhhhhh! But lately, I'm not really following that way. Damn!

Ah forget bout all this sad crap for now, dont wanna ruin my mood!

So today went to Kamz house! Damn fun! We crapped and stalked people like mad. Read all the messages she had with a FEW people! She read my messages! Laughed like mad! Shared secrets but basically we know EVERYTHING bout each other! Hahhhh it was epic! Love her to the maxx lar!!

I'm Drifting Away....

Mood: Doesn't know what's she's feeling!

Facebook Status: I stay silent sometimes because I don't wanna end up saying things that I would regret of later on but as always it messes things up.

Nowadays, I'm so unsure of my own feelings. Should I do the right thing which is making everyone happy and keep em all away from the storm in my heart or should I follow my heart where it leads me to happiness but never to the right decision?

Whassup with the status?! Well, didn't talk to Kuga during tuition. At first we did, then had a convo about the Saturday thing and then I stopped talking and then poof no more conversation. Ok, that was not really it.
I had so much to tell and so much to ask but as its stated on the status, I was afraid that I would say things that would make me regret saying or hurt her in any way. She told me it isn't good to keep everything to myself and that I should let it out but as usual, I prefer keeping my thoughts to myself, block the world. Yeah I was being very sarcastic but I know I had to shuddup cause if I continued, I would have been real harsh and we wouldn't want that, do we?! She asked me if I was angry, I replied coldly "NO!" but to be honest, I was kinda mad. I mean c'mon, who wouldn't be?! And huh, me jealous?! No way! Ok, maybe 0.000001%

One thing I dislike about me:
My thoughts fails to shuddup.

There's always million things running through my mind all the time. I may seem silent at times but the voices in my head continuously yell at me, telling me about my problems, my desires, my hatred, my happiness, my sadness, my failures and many more.

So much for the emo-ness, guess gotta stop. Would post about how school was today, tomorrow! Chiao! Nitez!

Time To Go Dowwwwnn!

Mood: Definitely loosing ma mind!

Hahahhahahaha! Guess what?!?!? I'm gonna get another talk saying how wrong I am, how I am over exaggerating,  how hurtful I was to her, how sad she is, how I am supposed to apologize to her! Yayy! I cant wait for it! Time to make me feel that I'm a horrible person! Wootz! Perfect. Just perfect. :D

Everyone's Sitting Under The Sunshine While I'm Drowning In the Rain!

Mood: Cheerful but about to breakdown any moment! 

Facebook Status: Mommy is the best! Turned my frown upside down!

Pageviews! Pageviews! Pageviews! :D

Mommy made me laugh so hard by telling me stories of me when I was a little.
Can't believe I was so epic!
And wheee I was daddy's little girl and mommy's worst nightmare and wootz I still am!


Had an argument with Kuga yet again. Wonderful!
I did not find the need to tell anyone about me liking someone and even if I told, wouldn't make much of a difference,that's it! And amazingly it's considered as hiding things! What happened to privacy?! I invaded her privacy?! Well I HAD TO since she was being the good sis more than a good friend and she said it as though I had fun doing it. Trust me, it was not fun....AT ALL! Well, I am extremely sorry! No worries, would keep in mind that from now I should never interfere in her personal stuff. Na ah! Lesson learnt!

When I said "as though you would have bothered" , I meant she would have been like everyone else, won't really pay much attention to it NOT that I don't trust her but she misunderstood that. I think that she didn't bother when she asked him those questions, well actually I think she shouldn't have asked at all! Best part, she still cared more of how he would react than trying to understand how I felt! That was awesome! And me caring for my curiosity was very wrong! Oopsie!

Respect peoples feeling even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it means everything to them.

I'm not suffering from within! I'm fine however I am! I'm used to! She said she cared so she asked well if she had cared and TRIED to KNOW MY feelings at the same time, then she would have known what to do.
I don't need hers or anyone's help and especially not sympathy. Seriously! She wanted to help me after knowing bout him but I already did so she's not much of a help. Nobody is! It's my own problem and I would like it to stay that way! I'm tired of having people telling me what to do! It's my life! My emotions! I wanna live it my way! It's my wish if I wanna cry, I wanna suffer or whatever I wanna do!

She said I get hurt easily. Heck yeah then why do things that would hurt me?! That would make me angry?!I admit I was kinda rude but doesn't she know how bad my temper is?! How I can't control it?!
I calmed later on and did try to be nice but guess what, she ignored my attempts yet AGAIN! Fineeee! Her wish! I don't know what went wrong! We hardly used to have problems but now it changed and I really hate being angry with her but she has to realize stuffs too. Really!

She can be as mean as she wants, wouldn't make a difference to me cause I'm very used to being treated that way. Oh yeah, so much that it's making me grow numb these days. Like it doesn't affect me.

And the funny part is, that meanness was supposed to make me feel better. To make me forget. Well as far as I know, it was very hurtful and definitely was not much of a help.  I wonder from where people get this type of ideas. Hurting people so that they forget?! Well, it just makes things worst and the word forget does not exist there, pain and disappointment does!

Love Is Harsh!

Mood: Sad

that maybe someday everything would be back to how it was before. To the time when I had you and nothing else mattered to you more than I did. Maybe someday......... Till then I'll let you hurt me cause that is what you have been doing all these while...

I cried a lot because of you
You always hurt me,
Its kinda like our own inside joke,
except it's not funny.

Feelings are things that you have no control of so you can't control who you fall for. When you fall for someone, you feel every single emotion. You feel total happiness the moment you see them or even think about them or when you realize they do care about you, sadness when they're not around, excitement in knowing even the smallest details about them, disappointment when they continuously fail to keep their promises, love when you know you mean something to them and they make you feel special, jealousy when you see someone talk or flirt with them, heartbreak when you realize it's all over, anger when they give you stupid reasons as the cause of the separation, hate when they treat you like you don't matter and act like nothing ever happened and pain when random flashback brings back painful memories and breaks your heart all over again and when they don't realize how much they have and are hurting you.

The worst part is here you are wishing for miracles to happen and even just the sound of their name makes your heart beat faster.

Another Day Just Flew Away With The Wind

Mood: Just like the previous post!

Previous post was all about yesterday. Now lemme crap about today!

Aiyoo Raamaaa, today morning itself my day started off weird! Kavi had to point at him lar when he passed by! Very sure he noticed cause she pointed so close to his FACE! ._.

Saw him with his PJ shirt! Wheee! The last time I saw him in his PJ shirt was last year when he hasn't tucked in and buttoned his shirt! That was awesomeeeeee you know! How I saw?! From the girls toilet, I looked down from there and saw him. Kikikiki! XD

People called me Vinnodth's wife! -.- Just cause I was having his shirt! Not my fault! He asked me to keep it. Ergh! He could have gave Charath or any of his classmates right! I don't know how to fold long sleeve clothes so I asked my classmate, Kirosha to help! Aiyoo Raamaaa, my classmates were staring at me and some of them had 'sore throat" all of a sudden. =='

I asked Shin Hau to call Vinnodth cause Pn. Chuan was there but even if she wasn't there, I wouldn't have dared to go cause he was there. Ok, gotta say that I'm kinda afraid of him. :/

Then saw him when he was out of the library with Shin Hau. I didn't dare to look at him.

I walk with my head down, trying to block you out cause I'll never impress you.

Now that's a true fact!

Kavi told he was making so much noise when he passed by her class with Shin Hau and he shushed when she stared at him. Hahaha! Ah Hazel was there also. Aha! Aha!

I rushed into my class and my classmates thought teacher was coming so they were like "Ashini, who?! Teacher ah?!" I just stared at them.

After school, I and Kamz were walking around aimlessly. I was telling her how Nexus styled his hair in front of me, cacat la he then I was listening to her awesomeeee love story. We were gossiping also! 

And what's his problem if Nexus sounds obvious ah ah ah?! Wait, does he even know who Nexus is?! If he perasan it's him, gah nevermind, let him live in that misunderstanding. As he says "It's your problem, not mine!" Podannggggg!! >:(

Can't wait for tomorrow! I haven't got her the gift yet lar. Nevermind, I'll give her on Thursday! Wheeee! And uh no need gift for Kelvine! :P

Kamz probably gonna read all my posts now since she angrily asked me for the URL! Me sad! She was so mean! D: Hah! I know you're reading and I just wanna say, I merajuk ady and once again your sorry not accepted! >:(

I'm Captivated

Mood: Neutral

Namaste! Hey! Aloha! Konichiwa! Eh eh the last one I'm not sure what it means but it's a greeting anyways! Oh well! Wheee!

Sound hyper?! Neah not really! Just trying to block all the sad moments of my life for a while! I wannna enjoooyyyy!

The title is just random! :P
Oh btw the post that I was supposed to post yesterday, well I'll post it another day, it's sad and I'm not in the mood to be sad! Na ah not even a bit! No place for jealousy also. Currently lying on the bed and wanting to daydream about erm urgh stuffs! Heheeeee!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Yesterday was epic you know! Like epic epic! XD
What happened?! Pn Hasma is no more in our school! Urgh nooo that's not the reason of the epicness, doesn't even has any connection. Ah watever lar!
Craziest assembly session ever! Eh no, it was crazier last time with Charath and all. Hmm kira it was the craziest alone assembly session.

And you stood there in front of me

Just close enough to touch

Close enough to hope you couldn't

See what was I thinking

What I did?! SCREW THE SPEECHES, STARE AT HIM!
Yeah that's the motto, so you kinda get the picture of how it was. I smiled and waved like a retard, poked, smacked, hugged, kicked and slapped him erm somehow without him feeling or noticing?! Lalalala! Basically, I was like on drugs but I wasn't. I was just, I don't know, got Kamalini's sickness, where she ALWAYS picture hugging Nexus mama by just looking at him. Yeah, that's it! I know I sound mad, do you think I care?! Na ah! Doing stuffs that make you look like you're on drugs is awesome. Seriously, try it sometime but don't really go take drugs for that k. The ONLY problem I had while staring at him is HIM! Why can't he just stand still like all the other prefects on the other side were?! Why must he look around?! Ok look around also, why must look to his left?! Keep looking to his right le! Some more, he is supposed to hate looking to the left, I'm there ma! Oh ya, he musn't have noticed, maybe that's why but still, he moves a lot! Almost got busted a few times and aiyo everytime I got the chance to stare for a looongggg time, he'd turn, making me have to look somewhere else in a sudden motion. Very annoying you know. Felt like walking right up to him with all the Longman books, yeah Longman since we're using Nexus books for another idiot, and whack him real hard. Pissing people off ny. Ergh! And he yawns like a rhinoceros lar! His mouth opens so big! Rawr! And he kept rubbing his eyes. Mega sleepyhead le he! I kept having the feeling as though he was glancing sideways to all my nonsense but heh that's so not possible since he doesn't even notice me or look at me which is a good thing cause I get to stare without him noticing and urgh it's a bad thing also, well for me at least. A sad thing. Haiz! What to do! Just gotta be grateful with the current situation! Bwuahahahaah! I even almost threw a lil rock at him but aiyoo raamaaa he ah kept turning. I know lar he so interested to look at all those leng lui chinese girls although he told Kamalini he hates em. -.- Oh wait maybe he was looking at Roy! Hah! Must be it! I know it! Peh! Whatever lar! Mr. Rosli talked to him and he was smiling and I was just there staring and smiling at him like an idiot. Oh and he was busy talking to those Chinese guys from the 1st row and he kept shaking his head and I thought he went crazy ady! But it was cute, err in a odd way. Ohmigod! I swear I've lost my mind. Officially! He looked kinda sad but I know he's not sad! He damn happy one! Dramarama much! =='
Maybe he was just missing Shin Hau. He told Kuga that! And definitely lots more and uh to Kamalini also. Fineee! Go lar talk to my friends and the whole world except me. I don't care lar. Whatever lar you!Ergh! I also don't wanna talk! Why I would wanna talk?! I got no better work is it ah ah ah?!  Haiz! Double sighs! I'll talk to Shin Hau! Honestly, I loveeeeeeeeee talking to Shin Hau. He's much CARING, much NICER, much UNDERSTANDING and uh much PROBLEMATIC too! XD But still, at least he doesn't ignore me like how SOMEONE does! Lalalalallala!

Walking back to class and I was playing the innocent girl role when I passed by him. Eh eh mistake, not playing, I am innocent. Tadaaaaa! I still stared at him from the balcony near my class there. Eh balcony ah that one?! Hmm reminds me of Taylor Swift-Love Story! Kikikikiki! XD

Class was cekap! Layknaath said he'd miss me if I go away! LOL! We were dramarama-ing! He asked me whether I really had to go and help teacher then I just playfully asked him "Why?! You gonna miss me ah?!" with that look and then Bavi was like "Yaaa, he gonna miss you. Kirshna was laughing and then Layknaath said "Ya la!" And Siva gave me the death stare. After that ny we started dramarama-ing!

School ended 1:20! Wheeee! But huh the form 4's were out too?! Awesomeeeeee! I was chit-chatting with Kamz and disturbed her with him. Gah insecurity sucks man! Makes you think and do all sort of wrong stuffs. I was being the normal me, where I'm not bothered about his presence or him but the moment he doesn't notice which is always, I stared at him! Noo not stared lar. Hmm was just LOOKING!

Then my evil boyfriend came. See lar my life, damn epic! I have an evil guy for a boyfriend and a mean guy for a crush. Haiz! And ugh we're not really boyfriend/girlfriend, we just address each other like that to shut everyone's mouth. Ya by now you should know my literal boyfriend is Vinnodth! We walked around the school then Soon Jian joined in, "separating" both of us and telling that Vinnodth might get caught for dating with me and hahahaha our replies were damn cekap! Really like boyfriend and girlfriend but pleaseeeeeeeee no wayyyyyyy! Then Min Yi joined so we said I and Vinnodth date, Min Yi and Soon Jian together! Soon Jian's reaction was so funny! Then we saw Shin Hau walking towards us with his long face and that heavy bag so me and Soon Jian decided to disturb him. We started talking bout my sis-in-law, how Shin Hau's kids are and how he is when she's around and all. Hahhhhh damn niceee! Then he asked me where thaaaatttttt fella was and I told him where I saw him walking, and the next moment, I saw him walking to the canteen but no one else saw. They thought I went mad cause a minute ago I was pointing to the office direction then to the canteen but I was sureeee I saw him! Duh! Follow the leader, ME! XD

Then he came back somehow, I forgot, so he was with Shin Hau, I didn't know what to do also since I'm not used to being around him. He doesn't talk to me, what can I do?! I talk to everyone except him. What?! He thinks I'd bite him ah if he talked?! Urgh! Oh wait, I saying as though lar he wants to talk! Dumb me. So I walked behind them with Vinnodth. I heard him talking, well I didn't concentrate much on what he was talking cause I was busy studying his head and ya hearing to Vinnodth's rant. -.-
Then it was Shin Hau, him and someone else lar, errmmmm Soon Jian I guess. Soon Jian kept asking me questions about Hazel I think, Shin Hau also and whatever I said, HE repeated and ask Shin Hau so basically he was listening to me. Yayyyy! :D But of course I didn't show the appreciation that he actually bothered hearing me talk, I just ignored him. D: Eh but at least not as worst as he ignores me. I know there's a contra of feeling but as a friend?! Hello, I exist! Your notice of my existence would be very much appreciated. And oh it would be better if you just try to care a little. It's ok that you're more interested in talking to my friends and not me but it's so not acceptable if you expect me to know bout your life when you don't tell me anything. Yeah go read your comment again lar! Thank You! It would be so relieving if I could just say that to his face. Kamz gave me the look when I told her he was just being jobless when he repeated what I said. That's a true fact!

Oh and on Sunday "Harini" asked me I still like him or not! My answer was......."who knows?!" and "she" said I was lying! Ergh! Mana ada?! Me telling the truth! Well I have no idea also since certain times I go "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" then I do stupid stuffs like staring at him and all. Btw neah I don't really hate him, just sometimes I do! I have the rights k! But that one also only for a while, just to shuh away the thoughts of him. Very annoying! -.- So no wrong thoughts of me hating him. Neahhh!

I'm Alive, I'm Surviving!

Mood: Sleepy! Owh and kinda cheerful too!

No idea why I'm cheerful but I sure am! 

Wrote a post earlier on but haven't completed! Would post it tomorrow definitely. This post is just to show that school hasn't killed me yet, just have been a lil tired and busy, thats why didn't blog. Oh well nitez' you all! Off to prison tomorrow, I mean school. :)

2nd and 3rd Day, Still Dying!

Mood: Neutral

Just got up from my nap and hah I'm still sleepy! Still on my bed with the air-cond on, screw the blazing sun outside but it is somehow trying to enter my room! Dear Sun, I know you love me but you have to understand that I only love you in the mornings, feelings change sweetheart! XD

Couldn't blog yesterday, been really busy and tired! Thursdays are always packed for me since last year! Gah!

How was school yesterday?! Well lets see...hmm it sucked! Early in the morning itself kena vaade already! Why?! I was not lining up in my class row. Well dear teacher, I did go to the place you mentioned but it was not my fault when you changed again and the people around me didn't know where it was and the prefects were pretty much useless too. They're always useless! Yes, offence intended!

I was so alone in my class. I have this girl named Darshiniy who follows me all around and is dying to sit next to me and all I ever give her is the pokerface. Laaykhnath and Bavi always disturbing me, well in a good way. They keep calling my name and asking me stupid questions and it's like they don't concentrate on the teacher in front but me. Whatever I do, even the slightest thing and they'll go "Ashiniiiiii!" with the tone. Siva keeps staring at me, whenever I turn back, the first person I can see who was looking at me is him! -.-

We didn't get to learn SV since the assembly was too long and phew for that since Rathi Ragunathan aka Rotti is my teacher! Pochi lar! So now everytime gotta greet "Salam 1Malaysia" Dear teacher, why on earth are you so patriotic?! And oh no, your not dear teacher, your dear devil! Me dislikey her! Evil woman alert!

KH was fuuunnnn! That's when I got to be the old me. Pn Maimunah is our teacher and hah I'm teacher's pet since Form 1. Cause I disturb her like mad and I usually come up with brilliant stuffs. Yes I know I'm perasaning but who cares! She's niceee! We have to do Reka Cipta and we were all cracking our heads to get idea. They made me like the leader in the group and neah didn't like it. I want to be equal with my tablemates, as in everyone get the right to speak and not ask approval from me for their ides. They're fantastic and they didn't have to like ask me was it okay or not. It was good enough for me. All I did was just brush up their idea and stated what was the problem with idea and I came up with ideas too and the problem statement! Whee teacher approved and she also laughed since our subject is grandpa and grandma. Hehehe!

Recess uhm wasn't that good! Justin patted me so many times and hah I almost chocked when I found out who his girlfriend is. Epic wei! Munchkin mami! XD
Eunice was so against to talking to boys who's aliran worst then hers but got into better class.
I was making Kamz jealous, telling her how I get to see Nex mama up close! Muahahah! But haiz, I'm sure she went back home and cried! :( Nex mama is so evil but yet she's so in love with him! Haiz! >:(

Maths was epic also! Mr Lee is my teacher. A few of my classmates and I were 7 mins late for class based on his calculation and we had to stand outside till he calls us inside, group by group to ask the reason. I was late cause I went to see Pn.Maimunah. She asked me to come and see her, what can I do?! Ergh!
BM was not that good. He was cracking jokes but they were all stupid! He's mega annoying and my BM is slightly, just slightly better than him. He mixed up his sentences and when I told him he said "Boleh boleh! Itu macam pun boleh! Tak salah! Tapi hari pertama follow my way lar!" and I was like dude I know it's not wrong cause it's the right way to write it! Yes first day only, after this, trust me, I'd never follow your way! He sucks at peribahasa, the part I like the most in paper 1! Thank God I'm going for tuition!

Last subject for yesterday was Sejarah. Mr.Sam! He still remembers his ex students! The 2010 morning session Form 1's! Epic when he still knew us by our names. He told us bout the rules but the ex students were all aware of it. Then before we went back, he told me I very rajin ady and that I gotta study hard. Get A for Sejarah and I was just nodding and saying Uhm! Ok, cikgu!

After school, Kavi was so sad! Well of course anyone would be sad if their bf'/gf talks to other girls but not them. I know how awful that feels! =='

Been busy the whole time, then guitar class then straight away tuition, came home, ate dinner, watched a movie. Whee Aarya! Me likeyyyy him! :D Then slept off.

Tadaaaaa tat was my suckish Thursday, 2nd day of school! Oh did I mention that I now can sight addikiran someone better! The view so so cekap! Yes I know....epic! XD

And today, it was kinda good although it was so hard to sight addikiran, I still managed. Muahahaha!
My hair was being blown by the wind the whole time. Aiyoo Raamaaa! Why is it so windy and hot?! :o

English was epic! I was late for class cause Pn Aryati called me to help her and there were a few of us outside. She called on by one. I was the second one. She chased out the first guy again, I didn't know why at first. When it was my turn this is what I said:
"Good morning teacher. Sorry I'm late! Was helping Pn Aryati with some paperworks." then I gave her the bow that Japanesey bow! She patted me and said "Morning! Owh okay! Helping teacher! Very good! Go go sit down!" Wheee I was the first one who was allowed to enter the class and sit. Heeee!

After my turn, she told the class lar about manners and all! Then only my other classmates got it right and they were allowed to enter the class and sit. Pn Marie Wong is fun and weird owh and hyper also and dramatic. She kept using me as an example and all of em were effing epic wei! There's this word crushed in the poem Fighter's Line that we learnt today. So she was telling the meaning then she said "Ashini, breakup with boyfriend, then she goes "Aiyoo, my heart is so crushed! Why he don't like me?!" Then she said Ashini, got ah?! And I definitely said No! Then she was like if boyfriend breakup with you just say "Aiya poodaa lar! Your lost not mine! Got so many other boys who would come after me! Right ah Ashini?!" And was like EPIC!! Laayknath and Bavi was like "Ah Ashini, got boyfriend all ah now?!" I just gave them the dull look! Then there was another one, I can't really remember but it was so funny!

"The girl who was walking with her awesome friends gang is now walking with herself."

This sentence reminded me of how lonely I am. :(
Everything happens for a reason! Oh well, guess I've gotta try accepting it. I'm trying real hard. I'm trying to adjust with my class and my classmates. It's getting slightly better, just hope nothing ruins it.

And gah I'm the class monitor again! And now Laayknath and Bavi are adding in "Ketua kelas sumore" at the back of their sentences. Aiyoo Raamaaa! And dayyum didn't get to see my Penolong, Thibaa's face! Must have been epic cause I'm sure she wanted to be! XD

And yeah there's way to many 'epic' in my sentences. Well that's cause it's my new likey word! I always change! Epic eh?! XD

I Barely Survived! ._.

Mood: Neutral

First day of school and I'm already hating it.
When I saw the names on the list all I said in my head "I don't like you!"  for all the names!
It was horrible!
For the first time in my whole entire schooling life, I've ever cried for coming to school.
Since a kid, I always loved going school since my friends were all there but now I have none.
I don't get to spend time with them since they're fucking prefects and my hatred towards prefect is more now!
I hate my class, my typical classmates and my goddamn lame teachers!
I didn't try much to make friends cause I know almost all of them there and they know me too. They were like "Hey ashini!" and I just faked a smile. I don't like them. They're typical people. No, I'm not being racist or anything like that but seriously ergh!
Don't you dare say I'm childish for this cause you have no idea what I'm going through. I'm not used to not having my friends with me. Since year 1 they've always been with me and now not getting to spend time with them, that's a big thing for me. You know the feeling of being left alone, yeah thats it!
At least if one person I'm close to is there with me would be enough. Someone whom I can go to when I need em but nope I've got no one.

Roselyn is with Darshiniy and have you ever hangout with Roselyn?! She's kinda lame and not really they type I like hanging out with. And trust me, having a family member in your class so does not help especially when it's a cousin like Yogan! He's been bugging Fu to change place with me so he can seat with me. Ergh! I'm sitting right in front next to Fu, my ketua kelas and I've gotta teach him about all the ketua stuffs. And wonderfulllll, Thibaa is my penolong! Ergh, mega dislike her since primary. Oh wait, I dislike all of em there!
And it's so unfair you know, Mohaan and Leonard got to go Mawar when they got 150 something all cause they're fucking boys! That's so unfair! They don't even deserve and not saying that I deserve it too but still! I hate Cheah Lef Ngan!

Really couldn't take it ady during recess when Eunice said how awesome her class was. And I was like wth?!? And the moment Kuga asked how was my day ny "Poof!" started crying! I couldn't take it lar! They were all like it'll be fine, just 10 more months to go. Well it's easy to say, I'm the one going through it. And 10 months seems like forever. I barely survived on the first day, how do you expect me to survive for another 300+ days?! Guess I'm gonna cry everyday and remind myself how much I hate this year and all this shit. Study hard?! Heck yeah! Need some tips also. Anyone who's willing to help, pleaseeeeeeeeee do help me! Need it more than anyone else do! So please be a kind soul and help out! I would really appreciate the help! :)

And dayyuummm, most of them knows that I cried! WTH! The form 2's came consoling out nowhere and woalah lots of hugs and all. Then Vinnodth told me not to cry and all and that he felt so sad when he saw me crying. Then Kavitha whacked me for denying that I was crying and then consoled me. I continued crying in class. The moment I see my class and classmates, I just feel so pissed and really have the urge to cry lar. And my teachers?! God, don't ask! They're terrible as well! Class and Science teacher is Pn.Aryati! Well I'm ok with her since last year. Geo is Pn Ruby Tan! Shabaaaa! And BM, my favourite subject and the teacher I got is so shitty I swear! Mr. Lim Thyuon smth! Hate him lar! I swear I had the urge of killing him today. And the rest I don't know yet. The ONLY thing I like is that my PJ is on Wednesdays which means no wearing koko uniform! Awwwwwwwww yeaaaaaahhhhh! I was hoping for it! Wheee! :D

And once again, please I really do need help! :(

Hope and hatred are the only ones that keeps me going for now! 

Schooliophobia!

Mood: Not wanting to go to school!

Hwuaaaa it's the end of the holidays! School in another 8 hours or more! I don't want! I don't want! I don't want!

Arvind texted me and said he would only text me or call on the weekends! Haiz!

Went Seremban Jaya to visit dad's friend and then when to the Tesco for a while. Gah boring! Was planning to call Kuga, when she called me! :D

Was talking to her in a bookstore since it was the only quiet place and after we were done, the workers there just stared at me and I gave them that retarded smile and Escapeeeeeeee! :P

Gotta sleep early and hah thank God, wearing koko shirt tomorrow, don't have to iron! Awwwwwww yeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh! :P

Definitely gonna suffer waking up tomorrow morning! Dear God, please save me! 

And currently Kirthana's giving me suspense. She said I'll be happy soon and it's Friday soon. What's gonna happen on Friday?! It's on my birthday yet, long time for it, hm I don't have a boyfriend that she knows who's gonna surprise me (this is totally random), the world's not gonna end yet and gah the government isn't gonna announce that there's no PMR this year. So what's gonna be so good on Friday?! How come I don't know what's gonna make me happy but she knows?! Hmm! I wonder! Oh well, guess I gotta wait till Friday!

Ohmigod school! Don't want! I wanna sleep! :(

School Is Gonna Suck!

Mood: Upset

In another 15 hours, it'll be time to be up for school. Haiz, I'm gonna have a tough time waking up.

School hasn't even started but I already hate it. 10 reasons why:

1) I'm in Tanjung

2) I've got no friends there

3) There won't be the big noisy canteen gang anymore

4) I can't talk to my friends.

5) They're all prefects.

6) I don't like my classmates although I don't know who they gonna be.

7) I don't wanna make friends with them

8) I'm gonna be lonely

9) I won't survive in my class

10) I'm gonna be forgotten

Yes, I'm so gonna cut down facebook and everything else! Kuga said I shouldn't blog or go on tumblr also and gotta off my phone. Whaaatttt?!
I'll still blog and tumblr but not facebook. Only on Friday, Saturday and Sunday!
Don't laugh! I'm serious!
And my phone?! Well, Arvind wouldn't be texting me as much cause he said it's my PMR year. Great! Double no fun!

I hate my class and my classmates therefore I'm so gonna study very hard and get away from them and back to my old friends. I don't care! Kuga said I've gotta make friends with them so that I survive, know what, I don't like them and I don't like making friends with people that I don't like. Na ah! She said I don't know them yet and they might turn out to be nice but I don't care! Nothing can ever replace my old friends. I don't wanna make new friends especially with my classmates. They all suck!
 Roselyn and Lyyana's there but I'm not close to them. They're freaking lame le! I just want someone I'm close to, my old friends!
And another bad thing is that my cousin Yogan is there with me. Oh God! Shera shifted school and my other cousin Marlissa and Thava has finished school so now I'm stuck with Yogan! Wonderful! At least if they were there, it would have been a bit fun, bullying Yogan but now haiz!

Eventful!

Mood: Fairytale

Gah what a day yesterday! Had so much of fun! Totally went crazy with cousins and all. For a while I forgot it was new year then at around 9 pm I remembered again and all of a sudden I wished those Tesco workers "Happy New Year" in my style, imagine it lar! XD And they were like oh ah ok ok Happy New Year, thank you and then the started wishing each other. I know it sounds so ordinary but if you were there, you'd be laughing your ass off! It was so hilarious! There was this guy who was always sad so when I wished him, I asked him to smile, he just nodded and had a slight smile only and of course I was disappointed and then all his friends there saw me sad and they all told him stuffs in a language I don't understand and yay he smiled and nodded to me! Wheeee!
I love people who smile! :)
Didn't notice aunt was there watching me all the while. Stalker! X)

I've got compliment! Cekap one some more! Hah bet cha my cousins were jealous! Muahahaha!

CA: You have such a blessed daughter. She's capable of making anyone smile. Such joyful nature. 

Dad: Yeah she's like that. A very good child! :)

Mom: And very irritating sometimes! 

Cousins: Ya and very naughty! She's the youngest but bullies us all!

Me: -eavesdropping from the back then walked in innocently like a boss as though I didn't hear anything and stares at mommy and then gives the death stare at cousins-

p.s. Mommy's and my cousins are just jealous! :P And noo I don't bully them, I just erm show my love towards them! Heeeeeee! X)

Stop making me smile, I'm supposed to be angry with you! ._.
That fits perfectly for yesterday's chat with him.

And Kamz showed me the message Kuga sent her. Aiyoo Raamaaa!
My only comment was "I see to many 'ashi's' in it"
Yes, my name was repeated for a quite number of times. Awkward! And woalah there was good things about me. Semme speechless!

And you know what, in all this mess, I totally forgot about Arvind! Oops!
He texted me, I didn't reply! After a while when I checked my phone, tons of missed calls and more texts. Aiyoo Raamaaa! -bangs head on the keyboard-

Well that's my yesterday aka New Year! :D

How bout today?!
Well today, you can say that I've gone mad.
Yes yes I know I'm always mad but today extra a little.
Did all sorts of random stuffs.
Went shopping for school stuffs.

And earlier on watched Aladdin! That's when I went real gila! If you watched, then you'd know there's this part where he'd be outside her dorm window and sings a song to her and then they dance together, yeah I did that too and the air was my partner. It was fun but nothing compared to the one I and Arvind did the other day! That one damn cekap!

Made omelet for daddy at 11:10 PM! Hah! That's cause mom's not around.
It's my first time making an omelet. All these while been watching mommy do it only. And yuck I don't like omelets!
The first one I fried was cacat-ed! It wasn't in shape. Haiz.
But the second one, I did with such care that it was perfect! Aha aha!
And yay daddy gave me double thumbs up and said it was superrrr! Wheee! :D
Daddy's definitely gonna go tell mommy tomorrow what an awesome cook I am and I bet you my mom's gonna say "Ya la, big already, must know how to do!"
She's definitely gonna say it! She would never praise me lar! Haiz!

And hwuaaa I really wanna go to Kuga's house or at least just talk to her. :(
Well the end of my post, uh no I'm not going to bed yet!

Keep smiling all, it makes you attractive! :)

Aiyoo Raamaa!

It's A New Day!

Mood: I have a smile on my face, does that count?

Thank God the mirror didn't crack when I went to see how bad I looked.

Me: -stares at myself in the mirror-

Mirror:- screams in horror- You look horrifying! It's New Year not Halloween! 

Me: H-A-H-A-H-----AAA! 

Cousins: Hey you still sleeping?! How can you stand and sleep?! And why do you look like a zombie?! Wicked! :D

Me: No! I'm awake! You blind?!

Cousin: No but you seem blind! 

Me: Shuddup!

Cousin: Your eyes look Chinesey. What happened to your beautiful big egg like eyes?!

Me: They're not beautiful. And what?! Big egg like eyes?! Do you know how big a egg is and how small my eyes is. They're Chinesey eh?! Too bad it's not Chinese New Year yet! 

Cousin: They are! Now you shuddup! Yeah yeah I know! But really your eyes were so lively and always blinking. And you were lively too. It's New Year, time to celebrate, stop acting dead!

Me: Rawr! I'm not acting dead! I'm sleepy and my eyes hurts! 

Cousin: Hah! Lemme go tell my mommy! She could help!

Me: You do that, and I'll tie you up, stuffs stinky socks in your mouth and lock you in the room and when they ask, I'll tell you're sleeping and don't wanna be disturbed.

Cousin: You can't tell that forever!

Me: Who said I'm gonna tell that forever?! Don't you know me?! I'm very creative and since I'm not in a good mood, you're definitely screwed! Now bug off and stay silent! Shhh! I need silence! 

Cousin: You've lost it! ._.

Went online and back to the sad messages. But oh well it's all fine with Kamz now, well I'm trying to make it right but seriously why does everyone have to go back to square one and mess up things?!! Gah missed that emo partner of mine! :) Her one reply totally made my day! :)

And Kuga?! Well, I don't have the mood to talk to her yet. No no not her fault. I just feel bad. Feel bad is in  how my relationship with Kamz would make her jelly. But I certainly don't feel bad for getting mad and saying whatever I told her on the phone yesterday! That's true fact and I can't deny it! And gah I miss that cacated crackpot! :(

And now I'm in New Year mood. Screw swollen eyes and emoness! I'm just gonna forget all this shit for a while! I need a new start to think right! Aha aha!

Happy New Year! Have a great year ahead! And may God bless us all! I love my life and definitely ME!
And everyone say Cheseeeeeeee! :P Tadaaaaaaa!

Fucked Up Situation 101

Mood: Super duper sad

Wow what a way to end 2011 and begin 2012! Crying like mad here and don't ask me why! Too many things lar! I'm already missing 2011! The first 8 months was perfect. Everything was going great, I had everything I needed but then later on everything turned to be so shitty and all and woala, it's now my current life. Kamz is the only one would understand that. No offence intended to anyone! =='

And guess what?! I've got freaks as besties! What a pathetic life. Freaks in the sense, they're soooo errrrrr dumb you know! I mean, c'mon lar, I said everything would be fine. I would spend time with both but those two, huh NO! They're going out sacrificing for each other. Both feel sorry for each other and gah I feel sorry for myself! Yes, I sound selfish but I don't care! Seriously, why am I the only one tolerating their goddamn stupidity and trying real hard to convince them?! C'mon lar, somebody listen to me for God's sake lar! I know what I'm doing, I've still got enough sense but those two seriously gonna make go mad. Aiyooo Raamaaa!

I was so very pissed this morning and I intended to keep all that anger in me, I totally didn't wanna let it go and I swore to myself to not let that anger turn into tears since I can't scold the people I was angry at. I scribbled on papers, tore two of the papers and I burnt the other four. Yes burn em! If I had a hammer at that time, I would have definitely smashed all the stuffs that was in my sight. But then, I couldn't stay angry for too long. I had a huge urge to smile for no apparent reason at all and yes I did smile. Not fair!! Why can't I stay angry as long as those people who could!? Not fair! Not fair! Not fair! Screw you smiley me! >:(

Called Kuga at around 7 and I was at Jusco that time! At the car park since everyone was so busy shopping. Ergh! Guess what?! She read my blog! Wonderful! All thanks to who?! Definitely the one and only person I had thought who would have done such a thing. Thanks a lot for being such a help! How sweet of you! Really! Help me promote my blog some more ah! You're a great promoter! Keep up the good work! Yay! :D I get it you're mega annoyed but hey I did apologize! I just didn't know that apology was rejected! Ouch! Mind to tell me next time! Kuga kept saying it isn't his fault! True fact! He's seriously has nothing to be blamed at! He was just helping her! Really this time no sarcasm! Pinky swear! It was obviously my fault! Still no sarcasm! I was the one who forgot my friend. I was the bad one. And yeah she said it, I wasn't there but he was! True fact also! Agreeable! Still no sarcasm aite! I was so pissed while on the phone with her, I couldn't even talk. Grrr! And dayyum, cried la wei! I didn't have any other way to release all that anger. I punched the board but the people stared at me as though I was vandalizing so bad idea, so I plucked the grass. She said  we were feeling the opposite today. I'm feeling what she felt and she was feeling what I felt. But na ah that's not true. I was fucking pissed and sad and I wasn't ignoring her by chatting with someone else like how she was doing. No, I wasn't being entertained. So, it's not the same thing. What she felt was just slightly of how I felt. Just slight! She tried changing the topic but hah didn't work. And no, I wasn't trying to get back to her for how she behaved yesterday. As I said, I was fine with it. She had every right to be angry! I understand. Really!
She knew I was crying. I hate it when she's right, well on the negative stuffs of me lar! And I kept denying and she said I'm a bad liar. She kept repeating stuffs about how he's such a great adviser, how he was there for her, how he helped her out, how he gave the blog link, what they talked about, how I wasn't there, how Kamz's status was, how guilty she felt. Wow! Seriously, that made me feel a heck lot better!
Then she kept sorry-ing owh and then she said I'm wasting money and that I had to keep the phone. Lemme translate that k.
"I'm tired of talking to you! You better keep the phone"
Tadaaaaaaa! :D

Yeah yeah you may say I'm overreacting, well I have nothing else to do. I don't have anyone who's listening to me or I could even talk to. Only me, myself and I! So definitely I have every right to overreact! I mean they're obviously overreacting! So much of dramarama is driving me nuts.
Kuga's been asking me to talk to Kamz! I don't get it! When I talked to her, she didn't like it and now we're not talking, she's asking me to go talk to her?! It was a problem when I talked to her and it's still a problem when she's not talking to me! So can someone tell me what am I doing wrong?! Talking and not talking, still my fault eh?! And I am talking to her, she's the one avoiding! I've got no more energy to beg them lar! I'm fully drained. 

Why do people feel guilty AFTER ruining everything?! I mean, while you were ruining it, what did you feel?! Happiness?! Seriously?! I'm very impressed. But you see, nothing's ruined YET! If  they both continue to fucking sacrifice then yeah everything would definitely be ruined. I'm tired of this sentences:
"I'm sorry for ruining your friendship with Kamz"
"I shouldn't interfere in your matter"
"I'm sorry for ruining your friendship with Kuga"
"I should step out. It's the best for all"

People! People! Peopleeeeeeeeeee! I said it's no biggie and it's nothing like that. I'm really tired explaining to them that everything's fine. I come home tired and sick and I read their long sad messages, gah what do you expect me to feel?! I guess, one more sad message and I'm definitely giving up. They both can just do whatever they want, I don't matter what. Really! Not only on them but everyone I guess. Should be the friendless person then maybe just maybe, I'd get some peace of mind. Trust me, I would really do it if I need to! Oh wait, I'm already a friendless person! How could I not realize it earlier?! I've got nobody, nobody but me oh, I got nobody, nobody, nobody nobody but me! XD
Try being the current me for a while, trust me, you wouldn't last even a minute.
Oh and I think the earlier post's title fits here best! Lemme go change! Wheeeeee!
Yes I've gone nuts. Don't think I could even sleep. Swollen eyes hurts a lot! Hmm guess I'll spend the night talking to Mr. Teddy and hm emo-ing! Too bad my emo partner has left me. I'm all alone now! Yayy! :D

Aiyoo Raamaaa!