Face The Wind And Fly

Mood: Neutral

Okay, the previous post, stupid, I know.
It has been so long since I wrote such a post.
Ugh, welcome to the dark side of my life. Again.

Whatever, just forget about that. It was just the old version of me ranting. :)
I spent the whole day smiling for no reason. I'm mad. Wohoo.
Anyways, yesterday was fun.
Met a guy who has 70% of Zayn Malik's looks. He sat right in front of me in the lecture hall. He turned when I screamed after noticing him and when I said the word 'Shit'. Whoopsie. I'm very sure he thought I was mad. Whatever. Out of 25 schools, he was the only good looking guy that we saw. Gosh, what happened to all the good looking guys? XDD

I technically abandoned Shin Hau. We were texting and then I didn't get the chance to reply him. How sad. I miss him. Nevermind, tomorrow can disturb him. Nyahahahaha. :P

Smacked Heeran on the face. That asshole. ><
Damn it was quiet when I shouted at him. Why people why? ==''
My temper is bad. Real bad. I don't care, it was his fault. I'd tolerated him since morning and I was sleepy as well. So he deserved it. No actually deserved more. Gah.

Can't believe I actually slept. Tired much.

And Deena. Urrghhh. -.-
She, she, she almost fell on him but he pushed her way but but but he still touched her.
Ah nevermind, I don't care. She should have fell. XD

Kamz said she was so proud of me cause I was doing such a good job of not bothering bout him.
Wohoo. :D

I still feel like hitting Mathana's head with something. The way he reacts is just so funny. XD

Now I feel terribly awful for not blocking Kelvine first. Shouldn't have been that nice. Ugh. Whatever.
I should have done it a long time ago when he was the reason it all got ruined, when he scolded me with all those harsh words although I was innocent. Finally, we are exactly how we should have been 10 months ago. I missed him but then after watching the way he behaved, I'm sure I made the right decision.

Broken Promises And Broken Hearts

If only I could turn back time,

I'd have what was once mine.

Mood: :(


Isn't it funny how we cannot laugh at one joke everytime it is said but we can cry over that one specific thing over and over again?

In a blink of an eye, 10 months has passed but the pain is still so fresh, it makes me think it was only yesterday it all came crashing down on me. I've been living with that hurt for 10 months, I'm surprised I'm not numb to it.

Spent everyday of 9 months crying and still continuing. I forget which month it was when I promised myself to never cry again for that crap. It worked until one day I just became dumb again. As they say, promises are meant to be broken even those that you make to yourself. It's just so hard to push away those sick feelings, the haunting memories of how much shit I have tolerated countless of times and the good ones that I wish to go back to and never let go off.

I have only cried this much for one person other than him but that was out of guilt. This one, well it's because of all those harsh words, those mean streaks, the lies, the ignorance, the cruelty in behaviour, the increasing distance, the lack of communication, his hatred towards me and the unexplained reason of why things happened the way they did.

If I treated you the way you treated me, you would hate me but look again, you already did with me having to do anything.

I still have no idea what went wrong or what I did wrong till he really hates me, like it was all my fault.
Was it?
All I remember is being the girl who had put up with all his crap and continuously supported him, was there for him when he was upset, cared for him and ended up being treated so badly.

After all I have done for you, you threw me away like I was trash and it hurts so much but it's okay, I know you don't care.

 It just leaves me alone, miserable. I try so hard to not give a shit yet the fact that he found his ego was greater is just so unacceptable.
Sorry doesn't make things right. They never do.

He is so near yet so far. So reachable yet impossible.
He had never been honest to me.
All I need is for him to explain the reason. The right one. Not the one that would please me or save him from guilt. Being mean to me isn't a big help either. It just make things worse.
All I want from him is to be honest to me. For once. Thats it. I swear I won't scold or irritate him by asking so many questions. I promise. If only.
Kamz and Thava asked me to ask and get it done with but Kuga said there's no point expecting the truth from a guy who constantly lied to me about everything. Every single thing.

He said he changed a lot. He said he wants to be a person.
Change is just a word to him. I'm the one who technically faced his changes. Just took in every hurtful words of his and tried to change it into anger, hatred. It worked for a while but didn't hold up for too long. Why? I have no explanation for that. All I know I have cried too much but I'm still not tired of it.

Me: I'm over him.

Him: Hi.

Me: Kidding. 

I don't know how he felt or feels. He's completely different. Not the person I used to know. Change. Yeah. Change.

Yes, I do get jealous when I see him with other girls. I'm very possessive of whats mine. As I said before, even it isn't mine anymore, it once was and I had full rights on it so seeing another with my belonging is so not tolerable. No no no. I don't care. He's gonna think I'm nuts? Whatever. Yes, I did say stuffs about him on the previous posts but don't I have the rights to do that? I don't care. That guy owes me big time.

I hate the idea of anyone else having you

Oh My Really

Mood: Sleepy

I've been straining my eyes for the past few hours. I. NEED. SLEEP. ASAP.

Sukan tara was some shit.
Got scolding from Mr. Rosli. Not entirely my fault la. Go blame my dumb classmates. -.- Counselling from Pn Tan Fong Peng. Supposed to be Miss Koh though but Samuel saved the day. I got so annoyed. I speak what I wanna say. I don't find the need to hold back my feelings. She kept crapping without hearing me out so I basically screamed at her saying what I had to say and she nagged me for that. Dafuq? Not my fault you weren't bothered to hear me out. I screamed at he twice. Once outside of the office and another inside her room.
I don't give a shit who you are, you nag me for a stupid reason without hearing my part of the story, I'm gonna fucking scream at you and make you understand. Just being me. :)

Okay okay so the good parts.
There's only one I guess. I got back my spot to go to Sunway College tomorrow. Wheeeeee. Now I can be with Kamz. Yayyy! :DD
Thanks Charanya. :D

But ... but ... it's at 6:30 a.m. Me wan sleep. D:
And oh, I don't know what to bring or which bag to bring. Nvm la, bring some shit bag. Like I care also.

Anyways, he looked so damn funny with that blazer on. Like a lil kid in over-sized clothes.
Too bad basket and that so called durian was absent. How sad... not! X)

Those people who liked my status about the blocking thing, they all thought it was him. Epic eh?! XD
Well, Kuga and I expected that.
People, people. XDD

Fallen Zero

Mood: Sleepy

Just woke up from my short nap but I'm still sleepy.
The meds made me so drowsy. Gah. Slept like the dead and I was freezing. Brrr.

School was like some crap. As usual.

Morning was good though. Laughed a lot thanks to Yoga. But again, no thanks to him for ruining my mood.

Shin Hau lent me his blazer. I was cold.

Dear people, adjust your mindsets would ya'll? Just cause I'm having a blazer, doesn't mean it had to be my boyfriend's. -.-

She stood next to him.
She could have stood with the girls but nooo, she didn't.
Hey girl, why do you always unintentionally make me wanna kill you? 

Eh wait, why am I talking like I care?
I don't, do I? No way. -.-

My rubber band broke during Maths today. I lost that extra one that I brought. Remind me to never tie it around my finger. Damn.
Thank God, Kamz came to the rescue with that orange rubber band. Warning: It'll be hard to take out, it'll stick on your hair." Yup, thats the disadvantage of it. Gotta take out later. Haven't tried yet. XD

I can't find my PJ shirt. D:
So dead tomorrow.
Sukantara. Bluekk.

Saw him with PJ shirt today. LOL.
It reminded me of something.
Last year, I followed Roselyn to the toilet, for her to change, I waited outside, I looked down from that balcony-ish thing or whatever its called, and saw him buttoning some kind of white shirt with green patterns, an old PJ shirt that can't be used anymore perhaps. Untucked. I remember I was like "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

Crazy much.XDDD

Kuga asked me out for lunch with Kirro, Charath, Aly, Hua En and Lai. I declined although I wanted to go with them. Why?

Well, for some mysterious reason it felt so odd. So unwelcomed.
Kirro, Aly and Hua En. I would have been so out of place.

Kuga tried convincing me much and Lai was being so mean, so yeah, it killed the desire to go.
I rather stay with Shin Hau and tolerate his meanness than feel uncomfortable with them.
Follow your heart, they say.

Love With Your Eyes Closed

I guess I’m coping with my biggest fear,
I think I love you still,
Well, isn’t that great,
Just like back then,
It’s just a little too late…

Skipped school today. So much for being sick. 

The doc who treated me was nice. :)

School tomorrow. Gah. I don't wanna go but I miss Kamz oh and Shin Hau. D:

Alex is still so very adorable.

Nothing much happened today.

PJ tomorrow. Argh. ==''

"Someday I would runaway to Paris with you"

Sicky Sick

Mood: Sick, very sick

Just got traditional treatment for my flu. A huge bowl of hot water mixed with Vicks and towel. Breathe in, breathe out. Pheewwww. That felt good. Hot, actually. Very hot. 

My nose is so red, my throat itches and my ears, they're annoying and I think I can go mad anytime, Aaaarrrggghhh. ><

School? Crappy as usual. 1M1S was cancelled due to haze. WTF. There was no haze man. Ergh. -.-

Class photo? That was weird. 

Got RM5 from Pn Marie Wong for getting the highest mark in English. I refused to accept cause I felt like I didn't deserve it but then she nagged and I got annoyed so I just took it. =='''

My lucky day? Yeah.

I left my money in the bag downstairs so when I went back up, I realized I only had that RM5 Pn Marie gave ,cause I just shoved it in my pocket, to buy Milo AIS!! Lalala! :PP

I paid the lady the money and didn't bother to check my balance money was right or not. When I came back home and checked, I actually had RM7.50 in my pocket. LOL! 

And my money was still in the bag, so it means the lady actually gave me back RM 7.50 instead of RM3.50. Walao eh!! XDD

Starstruck =')

Mood: Good

Hero by Sterling Knight.

So incredible
Some kind of miracle
When it's meant to be
I'll be a hero
So I'll wait, wait
Wait, wait for you

Sweet isn't it?  X)

Currently at Kuga's. Been here since 12, after Sejarah tuition. She's sleeping like a pig behind me. Wake up sleepyhead, we got tuition.

Oh well, guess we wouldn't be going. 

I miss Alex. D:

I wonder what he is doing. :/

I can't believe there are rumours saying that I used to like Kelvine. Oh pleaseeeeee. No way. ==''''

Never. Na ah. Nonononono!!!

Some Nights

Mood: Happy

Boo yeah, I'm back! :D
Blogger hasn't been working. Screw this shit. ==''

I don't remember a thing from the past days except for yesterday.
It was awesome!! :D

Krithiga's bro's wedding reception. Wheee.
Had lots of fun with Kamz, Kuga, Jass, Puvee, Chara and Kritz of course.
That annoying estate-ish poser kid. Ugh. =='' Kuga's laling. XDD

So, I got a pet cat. I'll write about him tomorrow. :) <3

A Broken Heart Is A Twisted Mind

Mood: Moody

Today sucked. Okay. Yay.
PMS-ing much. Gah!! >_<

Lack of sleep. Slept at two yesterday, all thanks to my troll brain that decided to continue writing the 1 Malaysia letter. Was like a thief in my own house just to search for an a4 sized envelope and stamp without waking up my parents. Epic.

Constantly battling with myself to stay awake. Headache. Dammit.

Passed by Shin Hau twice and pretended like I didn't see him. He questioned me on that.
So serious, well I was serious as well. I was annoyed but then we talked and everything is now back to normal. :)

Went Summer Ice with Kuga, Kamz and Jass. Their service was slooooowwww.
NIE, lol, I didn't do a thing. I was late by 20 minutes and they both were almost finished with it.

Layknaath said something and I got so moody.
Gah, can't trust my moods for the next one week. It's gonna be hell. D:

Reblogged tumblr posts like mad. They were all so bloody true. LOL.
Okay. Time to go drown myself.
No, not die but close enough if you know what I mean. X)

Sugar Laws

Mood: Drunk but not drunk, drunk. You get what I'm saying?! :PP

So, had a good time with my boyfriend. Yeah I missed him like a lot although we see each other everyday, we don't actually get to spend much time together. Sad isn't it?

Yeah, I'm talking bout my bed. Lalala. :)

4 hours of nap doesn't seem enough. I could have slept till tomorrow morning but the only I woke up was to watch Ram Milayi Jodi and now still awake cause of Tetris. D:

Just too tired today. Tried very hard to not sleep in class.
1M1S awesome as usual. We waited for a month+ just to play.
They asked the Emerald and Topaz badminton players to go to Bilik Kuliah for some kind pengadilan shit.
Kuga, Charath and I didn't go at first but then we went cause Charath's ketua called him. We were the first ones. The only reason we went in was to enjoy the air-conditioner for a while. Wheee.

It was soooo niceeeeee. 

We ran out as soon as Pn Vijaya came back in again after calling the rest.

Had fun playing badminton with Layknaath, Vinnodth, Kishen and Joon Fatt. Yes, Wong Joon Fatt! :D 

He was in my team. Both of us vs the three of them. Joon Fatt pro giler le. He was fast. 

Layknaath thought I sucked at cause when we played earlier, I wasn't serious about it. I was dancing with Charath. XDD

But then, I butakan him. I can play, you idiot. 

Kishen did his golf style. lol. damn funny.

I always give the shuttle to Joon Fatt to serve. I suck at serving. Lalala. :PP

Got burned like teruk teruk. 

If I'm not mistaken, saw his grandpa worried sick while waiting for him I supposed but it was Praveen whom he fetched. Ok, I guess I'm mistaken or maybe not. Oh well. Whatever.

Shin Hau didn't really talk to me today. I passed by him 3 times. Morning, I followed Kuga and Kirro to sign, he saw me, not even a smile, he didn't even come and talk to me. We were standing opposite of each other yet nothing. Then, I saw him during recess, I smiled, he stared at me and went. He passed by my class, I said hello, he asked waaaattt with that look. Seriously not Shin Hau-ish. While we were playing, I noticed him looking at the direction we were playing, I then continued playing. He was far far away. Rachel Khoo was with him. Consoling him perhaps. People came asking me what was wrong between me and Shin Hau cause they saw Rachel Khoo holding him. She wants to hold, hold la. Why tell me? ==''''''

My bus came, I turned to look at him then quickly turned away to avoid the awkward eye contact that almost took place. He waved twice but I pretended to not see. You ignored me tons of times, I ignore you twice, no harm done. Yeah yeah I know that is not how things work but I always treat people back the way they treat me. So, yeah. :/

Staying back tomorrow till 3:30. NIE, Summer Ice. Kamz. Kuga. Wheeeee. :D

Beginning Of the So Called New Semester.

Mood: Sleepy

Wohoo, finally successfully plaited a French Braid. Boo yeah!
It isn't perfect but would do. :D

Today. School. Shit. Yes.
Slept during assembly. I got really annoyed when Mastura was on the stage to give a speech. I disliked her ever since she threw away my geo map and my artwork saying that I was doing something else. I mean seriously, woman, you were a relief teacher, you don't teach me any subject therefore your usage of words were bloody wrong. I actually cried at night because of her. Not cause she threw away my stuffs but to the fact that I didn't do anything about when I could have.
I would have won so easily but I didn't do a bloody thing. Really regret that. So now every time I look at her face, that desire to get revenge and my failure to show her that I'm no person to mess with, burns me.
No, I wasn't afraid of her. I was just too annoyed and disappointed to do anything at that moment. It took me quite some time to draw that damn map properly and out of the blue this random woman appears and ruins it.
It made me think how can I be a good lawyer later on if I can't win something that small, when I was too clueless to let go of the golden opportunity I had to show who was the boss. Fuck that shit la. The sense of regret ain't leaving anytime soon. I hope one of these days, she comes in for relief. I swear I would purposely attract her attention to me and get her back. Trust me, I would do anything to get that guilt out of me. Bring me to Miss Koh? Oh pleasee, I have everything planned out in my mind. My words, my actions, my reactions. Every single thing. Yeah I look dumb, I sound dumb but I'm not dumb. Irritate me and escape? No chance. I'll get you back anyhow especially when you've hurt my ego. You're gonna get it from Mastura, trust me. I don't usually have grudges in people but when I do, you're in deep shit. Ask all those who have gotten the sweet taste of revenge from me. :)

Class was ok. Classmates were creeepppyyy. They said they missed me. Isn't it sad? I didn't miss any of them. XDD

So, I got 92 out of 100 for BM paper 2. I forgot that my classmates have no idea how much I dislike when people cheer when I get high results. I know it isn't really that sincere because somewhere deep inside them, I know they wish it was them so when they actually cheer, I feel like I took away something that they really wanted. I can't say that I don't deserve it because I did put my whole effort in doing it but when they think that I'm superior than them, it actually kinda hurts. They consider me as better, a threat. All my life, I accepted myself to be equal with the rest. There are people better than me but I swear I never thought of anyone being any lower than me. It doesn't work that way for me. Maybe sometimes I do it for fun, you know saying that I'm awesome and all, well that's just to lighten up the mood, energise people, making them think in a fun way. :)

Yeah I know some people crave for attention. They wanna feel good. Not me. I'm happy being a sarcastic retard, a joker, a totally carefree person. Attention is so not my thing. It scares the hell outta me. ._.

His look to Justin today when they announced that Chemistry teacher, scaaaarryyyyy, his eyes were like gonna pop out. Okay I noticed it cause I randomly turned and bam.Aaaaarrghhh.

Had that long distance laugh with Charath. That moment when they announced that 1M1S is on, we both looked at each other at the same time and smiled knowingly. :PP
We loveeee 1M1S. I told the akkas' next to me not to whack me with shoes for yay-ing. :PP

School, Again.

Mood: Neutral

I DON'T WANNA GO SCHOL. NONONONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  :(

Ugh, classmates. Ugh, teachers. Ugh, assembly. Ugh, homeworks. Ugh, folio. Ugh, exhaustion. Ugh, exam results. Oh wait, I totally forgot about that. Shit. I'm dead.

I am gonna suffer waking up early in the morning tomorrow. 5:30 a.m.

My nails feel so uhm, weird?
It was quite long and beautiful. Now, pochiiii. D:
Cleaned off my nail polish as well. Haiz.

Ironed my uniform? Neah.
I always save it for the morning when I race against time. Every morning. :)

Books? Must go arrange after this. Guess it would be neat since I threw away all the unwanted papers in there that made my bag looked like a dumpster. :D

Shoes? Okay, I have no idea what condition is my shoe in. I don't even remember whether I washed them or not. XDD

Socks? Lagi la I tak tahu. Nvm, use new socks. :D

Watch? Gotta fix the time back to 12 hour system. Dammit.

What I fear the most for tomorrow is in which style should I tie my hair and go to school?
I look like a mushroom in every style. D:

I know. I sound like a complete wreck but yeah this is me, totally uninterested in school. :)

Zayn Malik. <3 :D 

Rain Drops and Sun Spots

Mood: Fine

Had lots of fun yesterday with Kuga and Kamz. 

I saw guys peeing. Eeeewwww. It was a horrifying sight. They were like 'Uh oh'. 

Iyyyerrrrr. 

Not my fault that I saw, they were peeing near the playground. What the fuck?! ==''

Then I saw dogs having eheeerrmm. XD

Disgusted much. Yucks. 

Some people should really learn to accept the truth about themselves. 

True story.

One of these days, he's really gonna get it from me. Seriously. That idiot. ==''''

And yay Shin Hau is gonna be back to buddy buddy with Shri. :) 

Replaying Memories Like A Boss

Mood: Bad. very bad. Oh wait, it just turned good. 

Reading through the 11707 messages on facebook with him is scaaarrryyyy. I don't even know why I am reading them in the first place. ._.

11707 and if add with the Yahoo messages, wow. I actually remember some of them. Coconut!!! XD
But too bad, I forgot the password and the answers to the security question. LOL. I'm dumb la. Security question is meant only for me to remember but I have no idea how can I forget. Sad much. X)

Okay, the messages are actually kinda funny. How we crapped and made insensible deals. How he apologised for stuffs he did. Hilarious.
I still have another 8000+ to go through. Oh God whyyy.

Look at the difference in replies now and then. It's funny. Really funny. XD

• andpld dont think of me as an ex
• just think of me as a bro and friend
  
  
  
  

I remember how I freaked out to this message. Hahahahaha.
That was on 10 November 2011. XD

Old messages with Shin Hau is fun too. 16234 convos and it's all nonsense and emo. Woah. :D

And omfg I found those papers that I kept from last year. The Geometrical construction that we did, that birthday wish that I tested on a paper before writing on the paper that I gave him, Eunice's doodles, my group's failed Geo folio, Sejarah presentation. I'm smiling like mad here, thinking how dumb I have been.

And oh the old blog posts from like a year ago or so. My God. I feel like turning back in time and use all that time to do something more worth it. Oh God, I read back everything and think to myself, "ASHI, HOW COULD YOU HAVE BEEN SOOOOOOO STUPID?!?!?". I'm a different person now. Never going back to that old freak I was. NEVER. ._.

Yeah it's around 2 in the morning and I'm excited over memories. Gah, I'm a fucking retard. XD
You jelly? :PP

Pastel Dreamer

Mood: Happy

Stalked Tiness's girlfriend just now. Seriously, what did he see in her?! .____.

So, it has been a terrible day. Electricity went out. Damn.
Slept for an hour without fan. It's a miracle. :D
I cannot handle heat very well. Even the slightest change in temperature would make me sweat.

So, he claimed to be Hulk yesterday, eh no, I mean today. Gah late night convos are just so confusing in time sense.
Noooo, he is not Hulk. Hulk is so cute and green and angry and helpful in a way and he's my boyfriend.
He is so not Hulk. Never.

But if he insists, nevermind, I still have Hawkeye and Iron Man but Hulk is my number one. XDDD
I'm mad, I know.
Hawkeye is haawwwtttt. Iron Man is plain awesome. :D

Since he claims to be Hulk, he can never try to think to be one of those wannabes. Aawww yeah! XD

And oh ya, I managed to creep him out by sending him that cropped picture of him. Bet he got freaked out or annoyed but either I win. Boo yeah. :PP

Okay. Maybe I'm just crapping here. My head hurts. *bangs head on keyboard*

It has been 3 days since I slept well.

I keep tossing in my bed, dreaming that I am still wide awake and online on facebook. 3 bloody fucking days. 

Okay, that picture that I cropped, well it was just for fun. Thava asked me to edit the picture of me and her so while then I got bored at the same time so, I edited almost quite a pictures of me friendsta. :PP

Yes, I was just so jobless. 

Tuition was fun. Crapped with Kuga like a boss. We aren't the lovey dovey type of besties. It's more to the I insult you, you insult me type of relation. We express our love for each other in a weird way. It's not how normal people would do it but weird is good. I guess. :)

Going to the playground again tomorrow with Kuga and Kamz is coming too.

And ohmigod, Tiness chatting with me now. Wheee. :D 

A Weightless Day

Mood: Mad

NONONONONNONOOOOOOOOO! 

On second thoughts, I don't give a damn. 

Gosh, he makes me smile by doing absolutely nothing. 

Am I a fucking retard or what? XD

YES.

So, went to the playground yesterday. It wasn't that fun. Those malay girls ruined everything. =='''''

Saw Thulsy. Yay! Hugsss.

Taught Kuga how to ride the bicycle. She couldn't handle mine, that is sad. So we used a little girl's bike. It was so nice of her to let us use it for a while. 

It was funny watching Kuga learn. She's such a sad case. 

I look at her again and guess what, I find myself prettier. X)

Oops sorry. Lost track. :P

What else do I need to remember of yesterday that is important?! Hmm, guess there's nothing.

Today was okay. Those malay girls were at the playground again. WTF! 

Those little boys were annoying. Ugh. =='''

Chit chatted with Yoga and Kuga about dog sex.

Yeah, it's very stupid but it was funny.

We watched how four male dogs were sniffing that one female dog's ass.

Okaaaayyy. Sorry. XD

Currently I'm green. No, I'm not The Hulk but maybe his girlfriend. :P

I love my current desktop background. It makes me smile. Pretty cool eh? Ok, it just scared me a while ago. Damn. XD

So, playing Tetris like a boss. Plain jobless.

Okay. Google Chrome crashed just now and I sat in awkward silence, facing my desktop background. Creepy. Maybe it's a bad idea. Oh well. I still can't deny the fact that I love it and it's soooo cuteee.

So, everything's clear now between Kamz and that fella. Ugh.
It really is the time for her to move on.

The chapter that died 6 months ago has finally reached the point where it should be closed.
Time for a new chapter filled with happiness, friends and family.
Now that everything's clear, no point wasting time hoping nor crying cause none of that is gonna ever turn back time. As they say time waits for no man and it's way too precious to waste on a person who is no longer yours. It's we who decide how we want our life to be. Life isn't actually tough, it's we who make it tough. Take every bad thing you get and turn it positive. Ain't that hard. Always keep your head up, put on your finest smile and never let the words of the world bring you down. It is important to cry sometimes but make sure the reason is worth it. Nothing is worth hurting yourself over.
Yeah he made a big mistake but at least he had the courtesy to apologise although it doesn't heal the wound he has created but the thought that he is sorry is enough, isn't it? 

This Vain Love.

Mood: Shy

Tuition was fun today. We got a young replacement teacher for BM.
We kept staring at him. He was shooo tall. I liked his specs.

We were technically kinda uhm gossiping about him. Min Yi and the gang wasn't bothered bout him but then later he kept telling them to shush, they had to notice his existent.

He didn't notice me and Kuga much at first. I asked him what was power source in BM then after that only he noticed us. We helped him with the attendance. He laughed when we said we didn't know most of them there or when he mispronounced a person's name. Weird sir.

We actually had lots of fun watching him vs Min Yi and Jenny. :D
Min Yi was like what la you two sitting there so quiet.
Well, ok, usually we crap a lot and disturb the whole class, but today we were more interested in staring at the sir trying to figure out what race he was, his age, his school.
He is 24 years old and is a teacher at SMK Bangsawan smth at KL.
That was surprising. He even has experience marking PMR papers. So young yet so experienced. What is he? Some kind of genius?

Min Yi asked me if I was together with Shin Hau. LOL. Of course not.
She saw us together at Jusco yesterday, eating ice-cream like a boss.

Basically, most of them think I'm together with him. Seriously people, seriously?!?!?! -.-

Going to the playground tomorrow with Kuga. :)

Everyone's taking a chance to fix what has been broken and here I am trying to throw those feelings away.
No I'm not afraid to inbox him and ask him for the reason, tell him how I exactly feel.
I just find it ... pointless.

Sorry Kamz, I just can't do it.

And I'm so tired of people telling me I deserve better, he's not worth it, he was a wrong choice, etc.
People, I know. Don't have to keep repeating it. Yes, I'm stubborn and won't actually listen to you so just give up telling me. I'm the type who would love to prove the crowd wrong so the more you tell those type of things, the more I would oppose you. Yeah, I'm weird but I don't care.
As they say, never regret what you used to like cause once upon a time, it was everything you needed. Or smth like that. :)

He WAS nice, even with the bullcraps he used to make up and I just played along. He sucks at lying. Trust me, I know very well. I was stupid to him but isn't it sad, it was him fooling himself? Nvm, leave it. Old story.


I'm happy. Really happy. :)
But I have no idea why I inbox him asking he went for holidays or what. Maybe cause I see him missing in action on fb. lol. I'm just so jobless.

Tiness. XD

Wheee. 

Outing With Weirdos

Mood: Happy

So yeah, went out to Jusco with Shin Hau, Justin and Shin Yit yesterday.

I was 1 and a half hour late. Whoops.
Got them saying that they were waiting for me like forever. How sad. XD

Ate ice-cream with Shin Hau. Wohoo. He belanja. XD

Justin poked me quite a few times. Uhm, Justin, I'm not your girlfriend. -.-
But it's Justin so what do you expect?

Shin Hau called him a lamppost for coming between us while we were walking and talking.
I was basically crapping with Shin Hau. XD

Went McD for lunch.
Happy Meal. :D

Thava, Thessa, Sinthiya and Shantini came up to me while I was in McD and each gave me a hug.
Should have seen Justin's face. XD

So we went far a bit and talked and talked and smiled and stared. I was introduced to a new girl, what's her name again?!
They gave me the look when I said Shin Hau was with us too. Wuuuttt?! D:

When I got back to Justin and Shin Hau, Justin was like for a moment I thought they were gonna take you away from us.
LOL.

Then we went to Aeon and did window shopping.
We tried on hats, looked at shoes, swimsuits. Men's underwear. Lol, that was by accident. It was aaawwwkward. Bad pokerface.

They basically followed me everywhere and went I go missing for just a few minutes, they start searching for me as though I got kidnapped or something. How sad.
They practically followed me all over. I gave them that cute look, and they come along. I got them under my control. Muahahahahhaa. XD
No la. Just kidding. I was jobless and I was searching for a Brixton hat so I told them they can come along if they want to.

Made them walk a lot. They were fun though. :)

We went to I forgot the name of that place and searched again for the hat. No luck.

Went to MPH later and vandalized the pen section. Tested the pens like a bunch of retards. XD
One of my favourite things to do, write on palms. Wanted to write on Justin's palm but he didn't allow, he said his hands are too precious and I shall not scribble on em. Peh, whatever. So I wrote on Shin Hau's hand and then Justin asked me to write on his hand. What happened to preciousness then huh?! -.-

Around 3 we balik. How sad. XD

Earlier just now they asked me if I wanted to join them go again tomorrow. Sad la these people. Really sad.
Shin Hau sounded so cute on the phone. =')

Raise Your Glass

Mood: Happy

It's a beautiful night and I found something dumb to do. XD

Okay. So supposed to post a post yesterday but didn't get the time.
I know it's kinda late to say this but The Avengers was awesome. :D
Oh Hulk, I always loved you. Oh oh and the arrow and bow guy, thats what we call him.

Playing at the playground was fun. :D

It was fun with Lai and Kuga. Sleepover was cekap.
I pretended to sleep when they wanted to go watch the ghost movie. That was tough.
I wanted to wait till the scary part come but the starting song was so scary I got scared myself so I slowly sneaked up next to Kuga and stared at her and hahahahah she screamed. Heard that?! She S-C-R-E-A-M-E-D. She never does. Boo yeah. I rock! XD

The movie was boring.
Suddenly Kuga's came home and we quickly went running into the room and it was dead silent. We tried hard to control our laughters. We crazy people.

Manicure kinda failed. Worked for me but not Kuga and Lai. XD

Watched Kanchanaa with Kuga's sis, Shamala. Only both of us. It was like we were the besties all of a sudden. XD

3 people crammed into one little bed. Ragu's bed. I was in the middle. How sad.
It got kinda hot so I shifted my position to "Smell my feet you doinks." :PP
Yeah. Can imagine?

So just came back from Vaishna and Thaanoj's grandma's a.k.a. my neighbour's birthday party.
It was fun. The performances and all. The food was yumm.

And that guy who gave me his number?
He came with the host, the sound system thingy and a performer. His friend was a Chinese guy. They were nice people. The cameramen were nice too. They were funny. XD

So yeah that guy, I don't know why he came and talk to me. I didn't ask, he didn't tell.
So we talked and talked and he asked me for my number but I hesitated so he gave me his.
LOL. Epic eh?!. Vaishna was like "Uuuuuhh! Cheating on Thaanoj ah? Pity him."
-facepalm-

Anyways, chiao first. Gotta wake up early tomorrow.
And oh going Jusco with Shin Hau and Justin. AGAIN. :)