A Day Well Spent

Mood: Fantastic baby! XD

That awesome moment when you see something that you know was gonna happen.

Gah, I'm just way too awesome or was it just so predictable? Both.

I was in a bad mood but when I saw that, I'm back to life. I knew it. I knew it. I KNEW IT!!! 

Another awesome moment when the hot guy starts the conversation with you. Priceless. 

Was skyping with Kuga and hahaha she called me a typical girl after seeing my reaction. Lalala.

Okay okay, I know the post yesterday, kinda over, but it's just been a long time since I went that crazy over a random guy. Don't worry, I have no feelings for him. It's just excitement. I'm a retard, I know.

Went KFC with Kuga today. The guys there were all oh so flirty. When we were on our way out, they were like come back again, tomorrow and I was like nevermind, wait for us next month. Spread happiness everywhere you go not because you want to be liked or you wanna earn a spot in heaven, do it for the sake of having fun. :)  

Then we went to the playground. 

That girl on my right is one insanely awesome woman and I love her like a lot, a lot. 

We were actually playing badminton at a deserted place but the swing across the street at the playground tempted us so badly we decided to go for it. The first time it was a failure cause there were a few guys there, Mewahan boys, our age. Uh dumb boys with their extremely striking bikes. My bicycle lagi cantik la although it's old and kinda dirty. XD

Then later couldn't hold any longer so we straight went and played the swings like a boss. Brought our childhood back. That's why the idea of growing up is never in my mind. I wanna enjoy every minute of my life, slow and steady. Some kids grow up too fast, they don't understand the meaning of fun.

There was this little girl that smiled and waved at us earlier on, then when she came to the playground while Kuga and I were playing the swing, Kuga had the random thought to say hello to her and bam that was when that girl fell. Scccaaaarrrryyyyyy. ._______. We rushed to go get her. Pity her. Started crying. Then her siblings came and took her away. We actually laughed about it after that. We are shooo evil. XD

We basically played with every stuff that was there at the playground. We rock. Pictures, tomorrow. :D

We going again. Wheee. Then Friday, sleepover. 

Supposed to go to my brother's house on Friday but postponed it to next week. Kuga was supposed to come, I wanted to introduce her to Arvind but too bad her dad didn't allow. :(

Directions Speak Louder Than Words

Mood: Tired/ Sleepy

So back on blogger after 4 days eh no wait, 3 days cause I posted my last post on the 22nd. Shh! XD
What happened in the past 3 days?

Tuesday, err, I have no idea! .__.
Wednesday, awkward moments day. Especially on how Endra behaved with me. Ugh creeppppyyyyyy. .___. And Vassan messed up my hair. ==''

Yesterday, pain day. Lack of sleep. Slept during Sejarah paper. Couldn't even do the paper, everything was so bloody blur. Headache. Real painful. Had the constant urge to knock my head on something. People thought I was crazy when I used Shin Hau's bottle to whack my head, yeah as though they know how much it hurts. ==''
Shin Hau is like one of the sweetest guy I know. He was so caring and protective. Awesome brother, bestie, mother, father. Ronda Tesco with Kuga. Gossiped.

Today, the best Teachers Day Celebration yet. :D
Damn cun. We were supposed to perform actually instead of Karthik and his group but then since Diviya hilang ady, tak jadi. XD


Mathana, Thava and Keyan, go fall down a cliff.
They see me with Shin Hau, they hating. -.-

He looked so uhm, ugh, dead today. Not energetic at all. ._.
He wore Azim's songkok today. He looked damn funny, I burst out laughing, and what was funnier was that after he gave back the songkok, he pushed back his hair, like combing it as though uhm how to say ah, as though err he had much hair. XD Got weird stares from people around so covered it by saying the performance was somehow funny.

Currently admiring my hair.  Ah straight ah, so soft ah, sharp ah, so beautiful ah. XD
But I still do miss my long hair. I'm longing to do French Braid but cannot. :(

21st May 2012

Mood: Neutral

As I said before, I usually get what I want. If I don't get it in a nice way, I use alternative methods to get it. I don't care if people's gonna call it dirty tactics or bitchy ethics, to me, it's called other ways to success. Fall seven times, stand up eight. I am too stubborn to let go of what I want so easily. I can't have it, then nobody else can. It's the rules. Sometimes I do let go for the sake of humanity or whatever cause I can't live with guilt. But I won't ever give up without putting in effort to get it. And I really don't like sharing certain things that belongs to me. What's mine would always be mine. Even if it's no longer mine, seeing it with another is such a pain especially when the person brags in front of me. So, I'll definitely exorcise my rights on it as the first user. Hah! Always do. And when I said things, it also includes people. The same rule. 

So think whatever you want, say whatever you want, you're never gonna bring my spirit down.
*hatersgonnahate

So it's my birthday today. Do I care? Nope.
It's just another day in my life and I survived.

Thanks to all those who wished, anyways :)
Got a teddy from Kamz and a high-5 on my face from Narresh. :D
ON MY FACE.

Well kira we equal la. I high-5ed his face, and he high-5ed mine. XD

Didn't get my ice-cream from Shin Hau. Too bad. D:
Had to go already. Pity him, walked all the way down for me. D:
And Izzad is shoo funny! XD

Mood: Zombie like

Ugh, bad dreams! Bad dreams! Baaaaaddddd drreeeeaaaammmmsss! :(

Lacking of sleep. Headache. Sick. Haiz. D:

Seriously, more than anything, I wish tomorrow never comes. Today itself already a bad day although nothing bad happened. 

You think I'm forgetful? Oh, no. You'd be shocked if you know how much of memories are stocked up in my head from years ago. 

Gonna be the 21st in a few hours time. ._.

I don't want. :(

Ok, so Kamz's wall post. Woah. I've been holding back from breaking down for days and bam as soon as I read it, gone. :(

K la nitez. Time to go wet my pillow! :(

Waiting For The Dawn

Mood: Neutral

Ok, 2nd last day of exam. Sucked.
Guess I was the only one who cried about something that hasn't happened YET while sitting for an exam. Seriously la. I have real mental issues. All of a sudden I was crying real bad and my tears, they were heavy, like so watery. They dropped on my skirt and formed this face -_- . Epic.
I have this feeling that what I'm assuming is gonna happen. The problem is, I wish I am wrong. Wishing real hard. I wanna be wrong but the feeling is so strong and so real that wishing that it would just disappear and take a wrong turn is just a waste of time. :(
BIRTHDAY, STAY AWAY FROM ME!!! >_<

Classmates thought I cried cause I was unable to answer the test paper. Dafuq? NEVER!!
I was kinda crazy when I sat for the next exam. I did the paper while stroking my fringe, thinking to myself what  awesome hair I've got. So soft. XD
Classmates stared at me as though I have gone nuts. Dont care. Paper was good.
I hummed songs, they asked me to shut up. I played with my hair, they still asked me to shut up. I talked in lip language with Aina, they asked me to shut up. What the fuck man?! =='''
So, escape to the toilet and spent 10 minutes combing my hair, self-praising and self-admiring. XD
Dashwini came the first 3 minutes and we chit chatted for a while then Kirro came and we were telling each other how the paper was and the best part, we were talking in front of Pn Ruby, our subject teacher who was in the next class and it was our Geography test. Cekap! XD

I just love how I "described" the new him in the few posts back.
Today we were walking and then they started talking and I just shush. If I was holding something in my hand that time, it would have been really abused by me. I swear. So, I just shush-ed and listen to them crapping on how add maths was EASIER than Civics. .__.
M-U-S-T N-O-T E-X-I-S-T T-O H-I-M. Thats what he wanted I guess. I just gave him what he wanted. Yay. So good of me. :) I wanna be friends, he don't want. K fine.His wish. Ok. I know something is really so wrong with me. Seriously. Am I just imagining stuffs and making up this whole crap in my head or am I just so pissed that this is happening and I'm right and I can't do anything about it? I don't know.
I just wish I could read his mind. I feel so bad for hating the new him, for saying stuffs that would make him feel bad IF he knows. I really do feel bad. I don't like disliking people. It hurts me a lot. I mean I go around making friends but then there are people that I hate. So against my nature. It feels terribly awful. Sounds like a very tiny matter but feel it first, have my personality then you'll understand how hard it is.

I hate it when someone makes me to rethink of something. It makes me feel like stabbing a knife into my head and destroy my brain but before that kill that motherfucker that forced me to overthink. 

Mood: Lalalalala!

Tuesday's exam, I forgot what papers I sat for. ._.
Yesterday, Maths!! .__.
Paper 2 sucked! Paper 1, not bad, the questions were all so straight forward. I hentam only 4 questions I think. XD But the rest also not confirmed correct. Tomorrow I would know. Hwuaaaa! D:

My artwork for seni was inspired by the curtain dress, Giselle came up with in Enchanted.
No comments for KH. ._.

And for the past one week, Sunday guy class had never left my mind.
And saw him today. Wheeeeeeeeee! :DDDDD
A-W-E-S-O-M-E!
Pre-birthday wish fulfilled! XD


Ok. Time to go and study now. D:

"Million Bucks"

You and me on a summer night. Me favourite line. :)

Oh My Really

Mood: Crazy

First day of exams?!

Me liked it. :D

Screwed in science paper 2. Hentam most of it. XD

Paper 1, had no emotion while doing it. I wonder why. .__.

Paper 2 rocked! For the first time, I had extra time to recheck my essays and all. Yay! 

And for the first time, I had some clue on what to do for my Bahagian C. :D

The paragraphs after my pendahuluan was flooded with my ideas that just suddenly came into my mind. No, well the ideas were already there. I meant the huraian. Kept writing till my hands were hurting especially my little finger. Ouchie. :(

Puvee said the BM papers were horrible. 

Puvee: Not good la wei. I targeted to write over 400 words.

Me: -Dafuq- ?! o.O

After school was interesting. Talked to Reshi after ages. 

Me: How was exams?

Shin Hau: Sucked! XD

Izzad: What exam? ._.

LOL!! Epic la he! XD

I wonder since when he's so close to Shan. .__. 

He and Shan walked down the stairs. He said smth to Shan and Shan shouted me name, me saw him choking Shan. Bet he called me crazy or something bad or whatever, in Shan's presence. I asked Shan what, he said nothing. Ah whatever, I didn't find the need to beg him to tell me. I don't care also. But to whatever he said, THANK YOU. :) 

Exam, Here I Come

Mood: Exhausted

Ok, my eyes are in pain. They are in no condition to stay open so I'm gonna make this short.

Exams tomorrow. Pray I don't die. All the best to all. God bless. Nitez. :)

Drowning In All Of Your Change

Mood: =(

So it's 1 in the morning and I'm here crying and talking and begging to a picture. Yeah, I rock. :D

Went through old conversations with him, conversations we had when he isn't the jerk he is now. When he isn't the guy who lifts up my spirit and at the same time brings it down to a level where it barely exists. Yeah, gone back for a while to the time, where he wasn't mean or ignorant, to the time when he actually had emotions even when he said he was heartless cause compared to now and before, he was wayyy awesomer before. He changed. A LOT. To the worst. Why? I don't know and never would cause as the person he is now, even a simple Hi is hard to say, so how am I gonna be able to understand why he changed. He once said he changed. He even apologised for being mean but what is he doing now?! The same old thing in the form of nothing.
I guess he forgot that we were once actually F-R-I-E-N-D-S.

I've been complaining to the picture on how much I hate this damn jerk he is now. How much he sucks compared to the old one. I've been begging the person in the picture to come back and kick away this bloody jerk far far away where he can never find his way back to our lives.

Heartless?! Emotionless?! Seriously?!
One fine day, when I gain the courage, go up to him and slap him, lets see what's his reaction would be. Hah! Dont think I won't do it. One day when I really can't take it already, I swear I would do it. Controlling my temper and almost everyone knows how bad my temper is.

Have time for everyone else except me?!
Yeah, everyone else was with him during his time of needs what. I wasn't ma.
Everyone else understood him what, I didn't. =='

Seriously, the old him rocked!
This new him, horrible, terrible, awful, eww, mean, ass, idiot, dumb, flirt, mean, a big jerk in total.

If only he could be the old him, maybe with a little improvements, people would stop hating him.
I wouldn't be hearing any complaints about him. Trust me, they're really not pleasant to the ears.
I think good for him but he hates me. What's my fault again?! ._.

What's my problem?
My problem is I lost a friend. I know he's still alive but he's not strong enough to fight the devil he has become.

Just Swing Life Away

Mood: ._.

So yesterday was fun.

Morning itself went crazy. Erhemmmm.
Stayed back with Kuga to do Geo folio but ended up chit-chatting. XD
And for the first time, she teased me with Arvind. Waaaa. ._.

Found a whole box of memories. Some made me laugh and some made me wanna cry.
Haha I'm still having the paper he wrote maths question for me. The 90, 45 and 60 degree drawings. I imagined how hard it was for him to teach me maths. XD

Then there was my epic failure sejarah folio papers and the cover name he gave "Chong Zhin Rhou" ! XD
LOL! And I remember how Charath suspected that name and how we argued on who was gonna redo the whole folio in the library.

My group's Sejarah presentation on one of the Tokoh's, I forgot. Damn funny the way we acted it out. Crazy man.

A doodle Eunice drew last year describing how from love she got heartbroken then to emo then to numb then she found KEVIN and forgot bout that stupid jerk fella and she lived happily ever after. :D
Thats so cuteee.

The Year 6 photo. I'm not in the picture cause on that damn day, I decided to stay at home. Haiz. I look at all my friends faces and realize how much they have grown and changed since then. They look damn cute in the picture. =') And my awesome teachers, how can I ever forget them?! They were our mothers and oh how much I love and miss them. :( No amount of thank you's can ever repay their deeds. They rock!

Then, last year's Pandu picture. Eunice without her fringe!! Damn weird! XD

But the worst part, parents called all of those and more, as rubbish. Dafuq?! o.O
Ok yeah some of them were rubbish but hey you have no rights to call them that. Only I know the story behind each stuff.

Tuition was awesome. Made Kuga my lesbian partner. Creeped her. XD
Made the teacher say with me that she's a cow. :PP

Payback. Muahahahha!

School today was like shit. Oh well, it is, everyday.
So lonely and bored.

Kept staring at Shin Hau's last year's Sejarah folio, no idea what to do with it. .___.

Went to some kind of Rose Garden. Oh my oh my! The roses were so beautiful.

Mood: Neutral

Skipped school today. #likeaboss

Forced myself to wake up and the very first thought was about Shin Hau sitting for his Physics exam. XD
I wonder...

Studied. Cooked. Food sucked. Played Tetris like mad. Advised Mayu and thought to myself how I can never follow those advises myself though they are so very true. ._.

And my awesome mommy found my pendrive. Yayyy! :D
But I'm still gonna get screwed by Pn Rathi tomorrow. FML! D:

Done with my folio. YES! :D
Didn't turn out to how I excepted it to be, but would do. :)

Bridge Of Fire Flies

Mood: :/

Why, hello.
Been too tired to blog these few days. D:
And by now, I have forgotten almost half of what happened and another half, well I'm lazy.

Thursday, me got jelly bout something but nevermind, don't care now. Felt bad for giving Shalinnia the death stare. Should have seen her reaction! Not her fault anyways or is it?! XD

Friday, well uhm, seriously have no memory of that day. Oh yeah, Pn Rathi didn't scold me whereas she scolded the rest of em who haven't passed up the folio. :D Me only got the Death Stare! XD

Saturday, me bro came. :D
He brought me news and I have no idea how to react. There's a new girl at their school and she's flirting with Arvind, the funny part is, she even went for my bro. LOL! That retard?! Seriously?!
Should I be worried that Arvind didn't mention bout that new girl to me or should I be feeling so proud cause no matter what she does, she can never take my place, that she can never be more important than me?! Well, second one of course. :)
Family dinner was awesome as usual. :D

Well today, me lost me pendrive in the car and the best part, I was next to the pendrive and the car was moving. There is no possible way for it to actually disappear without sorcery. I mean c'mon, I searched the whole car, no trace. Pn. Rathi's gonna kill me tomorrow. .__.

Memories In The Rain

Mood: Happy

Screw sadness for a while cause right now I cannot be any happier even its the silliest reason behind this happiness. :)

I'm sure I'd be called dumb if I tell the reason to anyone cause honestly it's just a simple matter yet it gave me a tiny spark of hope that I've lost a very long time ago.

Thunder and lightning, two of the things I'm most afraid of.
Was so scared during Science period thanks to the damn lightning. Didn't speak. just sat there in silent, telling myself that I would be fine, everything's alright. Maybe I did look like I was about to cry cause Layknaath was like 'Why you crying la?" Yeah, that's how freaked out I was. :(

Rain.
I love the rain. I love how the tiny cool droplet fall on my skin and send a chill down my spine. I love how it purifies me. I just dont like how it falls hard on my head and ruins my hair. XD

Stayed back to celebrate Roselyn's birthday.
Played in the rain like mad, bare footed. Had a great time getting myself wet.
But damn, the back part of my little toe is swollen, so much for stepping on stones.
I can't even walk straight now cause it's just too painful. I don't wanna go school, limping. :(

Thoughts Wander All Night

Mood: Restless

Lately it has been really hard for me to fall asleep at night. I have so much stuff piled up in my head all day but I have no time to think about it. When I finally lie in bed at night, it all hits me. All I do is think and think. I think about what could happen, what should have happened, what would have happened. I never get much sleep anymore.