Waiting For The Dawn

Mood: Neutral

Ok, 2nd last day of exam. Sucked.
Guess I was the only one who cried about something that hasn't happened YET while sitting for an exam. Seriously la. I have real mental issues. All of a sudden I was crying real bad and my tears, they were heavy, like so watery. They dropped on my skirt and formed this face -_- . Epic.
I have this feeling that what I'm assuming is gonna happen. The problem is, I wish I am wrong. Wishing real hard. I wanna be wrong but the feeling is so strong and so real that wishing that it would just disappear and take a wrong turn is just a waste of time. :(
BIRTHDAY, STAY AWAY FROM ME!!! >_<

Classmates thought I cried cause I was unable to answer the test paper. Dafuq? NEVER!!
I was kinda crazy when I sat for the next exam. I did the paper while stroking my fringe, thinking to myself what  awesome hair I've got. So soft. XD
Classmates stared at me as though I have gone nuts. Dont care. Paper was good.
I hummed songs, they asked me to shut up. I played with my hair, they still asked me to shut up. I talked in lip language with Aina, they asked me to shut up. What the fuck man?! =='''
So, escape to the toilet and spent 10 minutes combing my hair, self-praising and self-admiring. XD
Dashwini came the first 3 minutes and we chit chatted for a while then Kirro came and we were telling each other how the paper was and the best part, we were talking in front of Pn Ruby, our subject teacher who was in the next class and it was our Geography test. Cekap! XD

I just love how I "described" the new him in the few posts back.
Today we were walking and then they started talking and I just shush. If I was holding something in my hand that time, it would have been really abused by me. I swear. So, I just shush-ed and listen to them crapping on how add maths was EASIER than Civics. .__.
M-U-S-T N-O-T E-X-I-S-T T-O H-I-M. Thats what he wanted I guess. I just gave him what he wanted. Yay. So good of me. :) I wanna be friends, he don't want. K fine.His wish. Ok. I know something is really so wrong with me. Seriously. Am I just imagining stuffs and making up this whole crap in my head or am I just so pissed that this is happening and I'm right and I can't do anything about it? I don't know.
I just wish I could read his mind. I feel so bad for hating the new him, for saying stuffs that would make him feel bad IF he knows. I really do feel bad. I don't like disliking people. It hurts me a lot. I mean I go around making friends but then there are people that I hate. So against my nature. It feels terribly awful. Sounds like a very tiny matter but feel it first, have my personality then you'll understand how hard it is.

I hate it when someone makes me to rethink of something. It makes me feel like stabbing a knife into my head and destroy my brain but before that kill that motherfucker that forced me to overthink.