Face The Wind And Fly

Mood: Neutral

Okay, the previous post, stupid, I know.
It has been so long since I wrote such a post.
Ugh, welcome to the dark side of my life. Again.

Whatever, just forget about that. It was just the old version of me ranting. :)
I spent the whole day smiling for no reason. I'm mad. Wohoo.
Anyways, yesterday was fun.
Met a guy who has 70% of Zayn Malik's looks. He sat right in front of me in the lecture hall. He turned when I screamed after noticing him and when I said the word 'Shit'. Whoopsie. I'm very sure he thought I was mad. Whatever. Out of 25 schools, he was the only good looking guy that we saw. Gosh, what happened to all the good looking guys? XDD

I technically abandoned Shin Hau. We were texting and then I didn't get the chance to reply him. How sad. I miss him. Nevermind, tomorrow can disturb him. Nyahahahaha. :P

Smacked Heeran on the face. That asshole. ><
Damn it was quiet when I shouted at him. Why people why? ==''
My temper is bad. Real bad. I don't care, it was his fault. I'd tolerated him since morning and I was sleepy as well. So he deserved it. No actually deserved more. Gah.

Can't believe I actually slept. Tired much.

And Deena. Urrghhh. -.-
She, she, she almost fell on him but he pushed her way but but but he still touched her.
Ah nevermind, I don't care. She should have fell. XD

Kamz said she was so proud of me cause I was doing such a good job of not bothering bout him.
Wohoo. :D

I still feel like hitting Mathana's head with something. The way he reacts is just so funny. XD

Now I feel terribly awful for not blocking Kelvine first. Shouldn't have been that nice. Ugh. Whatever.
I should have done it a long time ago when he was the reason it all got ruined, when he scolded me with all those harsh words although I was innocent. Finally, we are exactly how we should have been 10 months ago. I missed him but then after watching the way he behaved, I'm sure I made the right decision.

Broken Promises And Broken Hearts

If only I could turn back time,

I'd have what was once mine.

Mood: :(


Isn't it funny how we cannot laugh at one joke everytime it is said but we can cry over that one specific thing over and over again?

In a blink of an eye, 10 months has passed but the pain is still so fresh, it makes me think it was only yesterday it all came crashing down on me. I've been living with that hurt for 10 months, I'm surprised I'm not numb to it.

Spent everyday of 9 months crying and still continuing. I forget which month it was when I promised myself to never cry again for that crap. It worked until one day I just became dumb again. As they say, promises are meant to be broken even those that you make to yourself. It's just so hard to push away those sick feelings, the haunting memories of how much shit I have tolerated countless of times and the good ones that I wish to go back to and never let go off.

I have only cried this much for one person other than him but that was out of guilt. This one, well it's because of all those harsh words, those mean streaks, the lies, the ignorance, the cruelty in behaviour, the increasing distance, the lack of communication, his hatred towards me and the unexplained reason of why things happened the way they did.

If I treated you the way you treated me, you would hate me but look again, you already did with me having to do anything.

I still have no idea what went wrong or what I did wrong till he really hates me, like it was all my fault.
Was it?
All I remember is being the girl who had put up with all his crap and continuously supported him, was there for him when he was upset, cared for him and ended up being treated so badly.

After all I have done for you, you threw me away like I was trash and it hurts so much but it's okay, I know you don't care.

 It just leaves me alone, miserable. I try so hard to not give a shit yet the fact that he found his ego was greater is just so unacceptable.
Sorry doesn't make things right. They never do.

He is so near yet so far. So reachable yet impossible.
He had never been honest to me.
All I need is for him to explain the reason. The right one. Not the one that would please me or save him from guilt. Being mean to me isn't a big help either. It just make things worse.
All I want from him is to be honest to me. For once. Thats it. I swear I won't scold or irritate him by asking so many questions. I promise. If only.
Kamz and Thava asked me to ask and get it done with but Kuga said there's no point expecting the truth from a guy who constantly lied to me about everything. Every single thing.

He said he changed a lot. He said he wants to be a person.
Change is just a word to him. I'm the one who technically faced his changes. Just took in every hurtful words of his and tried to change it into anger, hatred. It worked for a while but didn't hold up for too long. Why? I have no explanation for that. All I know I have cried too much but I'm still not tired of it.

Me: I'm over him.

Him: Hi.

Me: Kidding. 

I don't know how he felt or feels. He's completely different. Not the person I used to know. Change. Yeah. Change.

Yes, I do get jealous when I see him with other girls. I'm very possessive of whats mine. As I said before, even it isn't mine anymore, it once was and I had full rights on it so seeing another with my belonging is so not tolerable. No no no. I don't care. He's gonna think I'm nuts? Whatever. Yes, I did say stuffs about him on the previous posts but don't I have the rights to do that? I don't care. That guy owes me big time.

I hate the idea of anyone else having you

Oh My Really

Mood: Sleepy

I've been straining my eyes for the past few hours. I. NEED. SLEEP. ASAP.

Sukan tara was some shit.
Got scolding from Mr. Rosli. Not entirely my fault la. Go blame my dumb classmates. -.- Counselling from Pn Tan Fong Peng. Supposed to be Miss Koh though but Samuel saved the day. I got so annoyed. I speak what I wanna say. I don't find the need to hold back my feelings. She kept crapping without hearing me out so I basically screamed at her saying what I had to say and she nagged me for that. Dafuq? Not my fault you weren't bothered to hear me out. I screamed at he twice. Once outside of the office and another inside her room.
I don't give a shit who you are, you nag me for a stupid reason without hearing my part of the story, I'm gonna fucking scream at you and make you understand. Just being me. :)

Okay okay so the good parts.
There's only one I guess. I got back my spot to go to Sunway College tomorrow. Wheeeeee. Now I can be with Kamz. Yayyy! :DD
Thanks Charanya. :D

But ... but ... it's at 6:30 a.m. Me wan sleep. D:
And oh, I don't know what to bring or which bag to bring. Nvm la, bring some shit bag. Like I care also.

Anyways, he looked so damn funny with that blazer on. Like a lil kid in over-sized clothes.
Too bad basket and that so called durian was absent. How sad... not! X)

Those people who liked my status about the blocking thing, they all thought it was him. Epic eh?! XD
Well, Kuga and I expected that.
People, people. XDD

Fallen Zero

Mood: Sleepy

Just woke up from my short nap but I'm still sleepy.
The meds made me so drowsy. Gah. Slept like the dead and I was freezing. Brrr.

School was like some crap. As usual.

Morning was good though. Laughed a lot thanks to Yoga. But again, no thanks to him for ruining my mood.

Shin Hau lent me his blazer. I was cold.

Dear people, adjust your mindsets would ya'll? Just cause I'm having a blazer, doesn't mean it had to be my boyfriend's. -.-

She stood next to him.
She could have stood with the girls but nooo, she didn't.
Hey girl, why do you always unintentionally make me wanna kill you? 

Eh wait, why am I talking like I care?
I don't, do I? No way. -.-

My rubber band broke during Maths today. I lost that extra one that I brought. Remind me to never tie it around my finger. Damn.
Thank God, Kamz came to the rescue with that orange rubber band. Warning: It'll be hard to take out, it'll stick on your hair." Yup, thats the disadvantage of it. Gotta take out later. Haven't tried yet. XD

I can't find my PJ shirt. D:
So dead tomorrow.
Sukantara. Bluekk.

Saw him with PJ shirt today. LOL.
It reminded me of something.
Last year, I followed Roselyn to the toilet, for her to change, I waited outside, I looked down from that balcony-ish thing or whatever its called, and saw him buttoning some kind of white shirt with green patterns, an old PJ shirt that can't be used anymore perhaps. Untucked. I remember I was like "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

Crazy much.XDDD

Kuga asked me out for lunch with Kirro, Charath, Aly, Hua En and Lai. I declined although I wanted to go with them. Why?

Well, for some mysterious reason it felt so odd. So unwelcomed.
Kirro, Aly and Hua En. I would have been so out of place.

Kuga tried convincing me much and Lai was being so mean, so yeah, it killed the desire to go.
I rather stay with Shin Hau and tolerate his meanness than feel uncomfortable with them.
Follow your heart, they say.

Love With Your Eyes Closed

I guess I’m coping with my biggest fear,
I think I love you still,
Well, isn’t that great,
Just like back then,
It’s just a little too late…

Skipped school today. So much for being sick. 

The doc who treated me was nice. :)

School tomorrow. Gah. I don't wanna go but I miss Kamz oh and Shin Hau. D:

Alex is still so very adorable.

Nothing much happened today.

PJ tomorrow. Argh. ==''

"Someday I would runaway to Paris with you"

Sicky Sick

Mood: Sick, very sick

Just got traditional treatment for my flu. A huge bowl of hot water mixed with Vicks and towel. Breathe in, breathe out. Pheewwww. That felt good. Hot, actually. Very hot. 

My nose is so red, my throat itches and my ears, they're annoying and I think I can go mad anytime, Aaaarrrggghhh. ><

School? Crappy as usual. 1M1S was cancelled due to haze. WTF. There was no haze man. Ergh. -.-

Class photo? That was weird. 

Got RM5 from Pn Marie Wong for getting the highest mark in English. I refused to accept cause I felt like I didn't deserve it but then she nagged and I got annoyed so I just took it. =='''

My lucky day? Yeah.

I left my money in the bag downstairs so when I went back up, I realized I only had that RM5 Pn Marie gave ,cause I just shoved it in my pocket, to buy Milo AIS!! Lalala! :PP

I paid the lady the money and didn't bother to check my balance money was right or not. When I came back home and checked, I actually had RM7.50 in my pocket. LOL! 

And my money was still in the bag, so it means the lady actually gave me back RM 7.50 instead of RM3.50. Walao eh!! XDD

Starstruck =')

Mood: Good

Hero by Sterling Knight.

So incredible
Some kind of miracle
When it's meant to be
I'll be a hero
So I'll wait, wait
Wait, wait for you

Sweet isn't it?  X)

Currently at Kuga's. Been here since 12, after Sejarah tuition. She's sleeping like a pig behind me. Wake up sleepyhead, we got tuition.

Oh well, guess we wouldn't be going. 

I miss Alex. D:

I wonder what he is doing. :/

I can't believe there are rumours saying that I used to like Kelvine. Oh pleaseeeeee. No way. ==''''

Never. Na ah. Nonononono!!!