Failed!

Today, I failed. Failed to be a good friend. 

I have a friend who is emotionally down and here I am doing nothing to help her. I just don't know what to do.

Clueless. Blank. Empty.

For the very first time I couldn't help a friend of mine. She is badly hurt and that fact is hurting me.

Sometimes life is really harsh, every step of the way you have to face failure. Pain becomes your new best friend.

I am so helpless. I'm just not good enough. I feel useless. A failure....yeah that is who I am.

A Say About Him

The previous time I wrote bout it but it wasn't right. Wasn't enough. Here I go again, and I know these are just a tiny bit of him that I know. There is a lot more for me to discover in him. He is just full of surprises.

Being with an amazing person like him is such a great honour and I consider myself lucky to have him. He is not like the other guys that I know, the cheat type, the double-faced type, the unbothered type,etc. He is different. He has the qualities that shines brighter than those sparkly shiny stars way up the sky. It sounds fake but if you get to know him better, you'll definitely know he is way better than that.

I used to see him as the serious type of guy who doesn't really knows how to enjoy life but later on I got to know him better. And I saw a different him, the brighter side of him which he tends to hide. He is joyful, funny at times, kinda boring. He is really cute and he has that killer smile he rarely shows. Gosh, I would kill to have a smile like that. 

He tends to care and understand but in silence. "Silence is golden". He is sweeter than chocolate and as loving as a mother. His IQ?? He is a genius! And talent is something he is gifted with. He is good in everything and puts full effort in whatever he does. That's what we call spirit!

His life is full of ups and downs. There is pain and anger as well as happiness and prosperity. He has been through harsh times but he managed to get through them without any difficulties. He is inspirational and yeah he inspires me. He knows life really well for a fifteen and that amazes me. Well, everything connected to him is amazing.

Thank you for inspiring me!

And all these are what makes him special. Extraordinary. I don't like him..I....adore him! (:
Guess it was right,there is no such thing as too much info!

I love you! (:

You're worth it,boy!

Trust

Pickaboo!

Relationships are built based on trust. Communication is key, trust is vital, honesty is required, and a loving relationship endures when all three are present.

Without trust,there's nothing. To trust is to believe in the person you love and not accuse, blame or even assume things against them before asking.

Ya I do get a little jealous when I see you with other girls,talking and having fun because that's something I don't get with you. When I have people coming by saying that you're with other girls,not spending with me,blah blah blah, all I do is smile and walk away.

My mind thinks of all the unwanted thoughts but I tend to push those thoughts away because I trust you more than anything and I have faith you wouldn't break that trust.

Definition Of Trust :

" Giving someone the authority to destroy you completely, but having the confidence that they would never do it. "

Frustration!

Depressed, tensed,stressed!!!

Ergh! I seriously couldn't take it anymore and I had no idea why!! I was battling against ME!

I totally lost control of myself! I was no longer ME! I was lost in world filled with depression. YES I was depressed real bad and I had to keep everything to myself! It made things even worst!!

I was literally dead without any cause!

I was having a really good day but then everything turned to be a horrible nightmare!! I was silently freaking out! Felt like screaming but couldn't. Not even a single teardrop fell!!

I was filled with anger and rage but I didn't know why! During dinner, I finally snapped! I started cursing myself without any reasons to! Everyone stared at me but I wasn't in the condition to explain. Luckily he was there to save me!

All I needed was to be alone! Angrily excused myself and went out in the dark for a short walk.

Alone...yeah! All I needed!

It was relieving. The cold breeze,the dark sky and the trees made me calm down. And for the first time,I couldn't think. My mind was empty! Just what I wanted!

There's always sunshine behind that rain

I settled down under a tree and I felt my cheeks wet. Finally, I cried after going through a really tough time! The battle against me was over! And I felt a whole lot better! I was free from being tied to my own emotions!

Free!

 

Hope so!

 But the questions are, why did I get angry at the first place when there was nothing to be angry at? Why was I depressed? How could a perfect day turned into a disaster? 

BFF

Finally,he is back! The person whom I love so very much was with me. My BFF. I was really pissed off with him for not visiting me but the moment he gave me that sweet smile of his and that really big hug,my heart melted and instead of scolding him,I started crying. And for that I got a real hard knock on my head. Ish! He knows me well enough,so he didn't comfort me but found a way to make me smile again. Gosh I missed him so badly!

Gotta admit,guys are never good in listening,in caring and most of all understanding. But my BFF is different. He listens to me no matter how ridiculous I am, he cares,even for the slightest things in my life and best of all he understands me real well,although I don't say a word, he seems to know how I exactly feel. A mind reader,yea that's what he is.

And that's something very rare in a guy and this rarity makes me love him even more but nothing more than just friends. Lost that feeling long time ago.

Had lots of fun with him today. We spent the whole day in my room,crapping,gossiping,chit-chatting but the best was talking about our personal lives. Can't believe he did not get another girlfriend. So surprising. He was really interested in knowing bout mine just to compare who is better. That smartass thinks I couldn't find someone better than him well I think he's on for a surprise.

A Day With You

HAPPY! :D

I still remember the very first time we went out together. We were perfect strangers.It was a day filled with "So?". But today it was different. We are more than strangers and beyond friends.

Friday,3rd June is a day I would never forget. (:

Today was the best day ever. Dreams were reality and reality....dreams! I got to know the different you. You weren't that serious guy I know,you were better. Wayyy better and I fell in love once again.

Spending time with you is something I could only dream of,I spend time wishing for it and today it finally came true.  I was with you!

Had a hard time pushing you at the bookshop. You just don't wanna look in front. I'm still wondering how on earth could it have been so freaking cold?! But I am glad it was. I got to touch you...and you were REAL...not FAKE! OMG ! Dream come true ? It was so nice when you offered to hold my hands to keep me warm. I was lost in a freezing cold world of my own.

Love is in the air

And then it was lunch time and again I had to push you. Sheesh you ah! I had fun playing with your food. Attack of the cucumber! Muahahaha! But the best part during lunch time was feeding you that fried rice. I liked that part so very much especially your heart-breaking expressions.

 

Your singing is so gonna be my lullaby from today onwards. The picture taking time...well I better not say what I think bout it...heheh...!

Then round and round we went to the same places again and again since I wasn't really interested in buying all the stuffs and you already have all you needed. But it was freaking awesome cause I was with you and the time was going real slow which made it better! More time with you!

I had to make you talk and randomly crap cause if I didn't,the overexcited voices in my head would definitely make me speak out what I was actually feeling at that moment ^^' .

Walking around made me kinda hungry and once again we went for lunch. I had fun talking to you in sign language. I made you to think hard. But this second lunch time wasn't that nice.

And then it was time to go. That was the worst part. I wish this day never had to end but all good thing has to come to an end and as you say "everything ends,that's life". Here I am wondering was it real or just another dream of mine?

Was it real or just another dream?

Sleep and Dreams

 The thing I love about sleep is that I'm able to dream. Dream of all the perfect moments I would love to have. And the best part about my dreams,you're in it!

But lately,sleep seems to drift apart from me. My nights are becoming restless. And without sleep,there's no dreams and without dreams,there's no YOU!

 They say: The nights you're wide awake are the times when you're awake in someone else dream.

I lay there on my bed and just stare at the ceiling,wondering,when you would come and sing me a lullaby and we can enter Dreamland together and leave reality behind,into a world of awesomeness.

But these few days,you only appear for a split second and then you're gone. I try shutting my eyes real hard,silence my thoughts,in hope you'll come back,but nothing happens. And there I lay,doing nothing but wondering would you come back?