Messed Up

Mood: Unhappy

Imagine how it feels like waking up in the morning and seeing yourself in the mirror, looking lifeless and all so weak. To try to puke with an empty stomach thinking that the sore throat would just go away but nothing actually happens except that you're hurting your tummy real bad. It hurts you know! To have a stuffy nose. To feel like your fingers gonna snap and your head is about to fall and roll on the floor at any moment. To resist the tired feeling and drowsiness of the meds just to resist falling asleep. To have severe headache thanks to being resistant. Yeah imagine all that. It was ME today. Yes, I'm officially sick and I'm extremely weak and unmotivated. So do not make me angry, I may bite. Rawr!

Just yesterday, I was really fine and looked great and just in one night everything changed. Damn! I hate you virus!

I've been lacking of sleep these few days. Just when I lay on my bed all comfy and ready to sleep, all the things that I don't wanna remember comes back rushing. These few days the memory of the mistakes I did in the past with this guy keeps haunting me and the deal we made, that made things worse. I really can't sleep at all. I just lay there on my bed, WIDELY AWAKE, and wishing real hard that all these thoughts would just disappear at least just for a while. I need a break. This ONE guy has really messed up my thoughts.

Texted with Shin Hau and hah talked bout it to him. He's always helpful and the best thing bout him is that he doesn't judge you, no matter what mistakes you've done. He told me to not make any stupid mistakes and yesh I'm so not gonna repeat what I did before. He knows what I did but luckily he didn't like have any bad impression on me. Phew! And I don't wanna worry bout that guy or the deal anymore. Just gonna forget it. Yesh! That's it! The past is the past.